


Never Let Us Go

by trickytrinket



Series: Never Let Us Go [8]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Awards Season, Broken Promises, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Drama, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Film Festival, Friendship, Heart-to-Heart, Heartbreak, Marriage Proposal, Media Relation, Romance, Sexual Content, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wedding, past relationship, personal assistant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:48:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickytrinket/pseuds/trickytrinket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elli Lane, Michael Fassbender’s former personal assistant, and now she was media relations specialist at one of the best PR company in London. Back in London, she met again with her best friend, Tom Hiddleston. After years being constantly on the move, nothing would prepare her to see Tom again, especially when so much had changed. Elli Lane’s life is about to be more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, here it is a new multi-chapter fic. Quite different from An Encounter, as this one will be laced with angst. You might want to read the one-shot (A Gaping Wound, also posted here on AO3) first to find out about Tom’s current predicament. Comments are always welcome.

Fumbling with her flat’s key on her hand, Elli struggled to put the key inside its keyhole when a sudden ring from her phone startled her. The key clanged against the cold tiles. Elli didn’t bother to pick the key up, instead she took out her phone out from her jeans’ pocket and frowned upon seeing the caller’s identity.

“Hello? Nicholas?”

“Elli, where are you?” demanded the caller, he sounded anxious.

“I was just about to step into my flat when you called. What’s the matter, Nick? Everything’s alright?”

“You don’t need to get inside your flat. Step away from it. I need your help now.”

Elli glanced at her wristwatch, noted it was 15 minutes to ten so it was still a little early for Nick to get drunk, “Nick, you’re scaring me. I know you’re not drunk, and now you’re asking me to postpone my sleep. What’s going on?”

“I need you to check on Thomas,” Nick confessed finally.

“As I said, Nick, it’s too early to get wasted. Even for him. And isn’t he preparing to come back as Loki? He needs to be in his best shape to be in that role, Nick. So I don’t see any reason for him to drink again,” Elli leaned against her flat’s door, totally forgetting her intention to rest for the day.

“Here’s the thing, Elli. Tom and I planned to have a drink today. He promised me to come at 8 pm, and now is almost 10. I tried to call him but he isn’t answering his phone. I’m on my way to his house, but I need you to get there first, because I can’t shake this feeling off. Something is definitely not right with him. Please, Ells, given your close proximity to his place, you can get there faster and you might save his life,” Nick was pleading now. Elli heard the sound of his car door slammed shut, followed by the growl from his car engine.

“Nick, he won’t kill himself. That bastard might be broken, but he loves himself too much. Where are you now?” Elli huffed but she began to move in order to reach the elevator.

“Soho. I know, I know, Ells, he won’t do it, but something is not right today. I can sense it, and I know you’re worried about him as well, Ells,” Nick cut his speech abruptly, afraid if he said too much and pissed the woman on the other end of the line.

“Alright, I’m heading to Tom’s place now. See you there, Nick,” Elli pressed the red button as she saw the elevator’s door slide open. Nick succeeded to push her button because now Elli couldn’t stop worrying over Tom.  She began to chant a prayer inside her head and she knew that she didn’t pray, but for Tom she was able to make an exception.

***

Truth be told, Elli haven’t saw Tom in years. Last time she saw him, he was still together with Carla which means their last meeting happened more than two years ago, around 2013 before he did his tour to Australia, South Korea, and China to promote Thor: The Dark World. After that tour, before Coriolanus, Carla broke up with him and it did break him. Nick filled her with the details and Carla talked to her as well. And Tom, well Tom, called her almost every night. Sometimes he talked but it was more a gibberish talk, sometimes he just mumbled something that she couldn’t comprehend, and other times Tom just sobbed. No, he didn’t ask her to come over, and Elli didn’t want to because she was afraid of what she might do when she saw Tom in such a state. Then Coriolanus happened and Tom hid himself in between projects, from Toronto to Louisiana. Yet still, he contacted her through those late phone calls, texts, and voice messages. Of course, Elli didn’t say anything to Carla, but she confessed everything to Nick that one night when she was under the influence of alcohol. The news didn’t shock Nick at all, the bond between Elli and Tom, Nick said, is something that keep Tom sane after the hell he’s been through.

Here she is right now, fidgeting non-stop while waiting for the house owner to open the gate for her. Elli already rang the bell repeatedly but still the owner didn’t show up. She almost considered throwing pebbles at his window to get Tom’s attention but when she made her way to the other side of the building, she noticed the gate wasn’t locked. As her patience was running thin, Elli decided to press her luck and entered Tom’s house.

The house is dark, Elli mused. And eerily silent, what if he’s being robbed, Elli added. Her hand instinctively clutched on her phone, ready to dial 101. She kept marched inside the house, then she went still when she heard a hiccup coming from the living room broke the stillness.

“Tom? It’s me, Elli. Are you okay? The house is dark, its nightfall already. Why don’t you turn on the lamp?”

However, this time the question was answered by silence again.

“Tom,” Elli pressed with more careful, as she spotted Tom’s figure curled up near his couch. His face was covered by his hands, and Elli wondered if he was hurt.

Squatting down, Elli hushed, shaking Tom’s body, “Hey, Tom, it’s Elli.”

Tom shook his head like a petulant child. Shocked with his behavior, Elli looked to inspect Tom’s body, in case he’s really hurt, but she found nothing. She then tried to ask him once again, “Tom, Nick is on his way here. He said you didn’t answer his calls and he was waiting for you at a pub at Soho.”

“Ells,” Tom finally found his voice, although he still didn’t remove his hand from his face.

Elli winced as she heard how raspy his voice was, “Yes, Tom. What’s wrong, tell me, Tom,” Elli tried to put Tom’s hand away from his face, and thank God, the attempt was a successful one. What taken her aback was his tear-stained face, his puffy eyes, red from all the crying.

Gasping, Elli moved to sit in front of Tom, “Christ! Tom, what happened?”

Instead of answering her ask, Tom’s free hand now moved agonizingly slow to reach over the emerald card not far from his left. Tom hissed as his hand made contact with the card, as if touching the card will burn him. Elli followed his hand’s movement, then saw and took the wedding invitation away from Tom’s grasp.

“She is getting married, Ells,” Tom forced the words out from his tongue, it tasted bitter.

Elli traced the names that were written on the card. Carla Sunder and Lucas Finley. Elli saw this coming since Carla had asked her several times on her availability to attend her wedding. However she never thought Carla would invite Tom to the wedding. They never talked after they broke up, then suddenly she showed up with a wedding invitation, and to look at Tom’s situation right now. Elli shook her head, disapproving of her friend’s decision. Elli needed to discuss this matter with her, immediately.

Tom finally looked at Elli. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, anything, but nothing came out. He let out a gasp, “She is getting married, and she wants me to be there, Ells. It hurts me, it hurts so bad. Please, make it stop,” Tom pleaded. His hand clutched Elli’s tightly, he was shaking. Gone already the confident and well-dressed man who graced the red carpet, charmed thousands of fans around the world. Sitting in front of Elli, was a man, who was just being reminded of the wound that was lashed on him two years ago. And it crushed her to see him like this. “Oh, Tom. I’ll make it disappear if I can, my friend,” Elli pulled him to her embrace. She stroked his blonde hair, hoping it would calm him down or ease his pain even just a bit. Tom was sobbing against her chest again. With every sob, with every gasp, Elli whispered sweet nothings to Tom’s ear, wondering if any of her attempts would reduce his pain. Of course, she had heard story about how devastated Tom was after his break up with Carla, but to witness it with her own eyes, to say she was hurt was an understatement.

Nick came not long after while Tom already fell asleep in Elli’s embrace. Elli didn’t have the heart to let him go. She was worried even a slightest movement would wake him up from his dream and force him to face the harsh reality again.

Elli mouthed quietly to Nick, “Nick, please move him to his bedroom.”

Nick did what Elli asked him to do, even though carrying a grown man with roughly the same height as him was not an easy task to do. Elli followed Nick to Tom’s bedroom, pulling the blank over Tom to keep him warm. Even when he was sleeping, he still looked restless. Nick touched Elli’s shoulder, he cocked his head to the bedroom’s door, silently asking Elli to follow him outside.

“This is horrid, Nick,” Elli whispered.

“Carla is getting married. God! Don’t tell me she invited Thomas as well. She is insane, I tell you that, Ells,” Nick pacing around the living room, his hand tugging at his black hair.

“I’ll try to talk with her, but I don’t promise anything, Nicholas. You know how stubborn she is,” Elli tried to reason with Nick.

Nick stopped his pacing, looked at Ellie intensely. He inhaled a gulp of air then spoke, “We’ve known each other for a very long time, Ells. Thomas isn’t perfect. Dammit, I don’t want to admit this out loud, but I kinda understand Carla’s reason to break up with him two years ago. And we know the hell he’s been through. No matter how many girls he fucked, it didn’t erase the pain. No matter how much he drank, it didn’t help with the pain either. Then he worked like a horse, and after that he was much better,” Taking another breath, Nick then continued, “Last Christmas, Tom visited to my house. Even Amy said the old Tom is back, he even played with our daughter. But now, Carla has to fuck everything up.”

“Nicholas, calm down. As I said, I’ll talk to Carla. But I need Amy with me, okay? Because God knows, if there’s someone in this world who has the patience to talk with Carla, it’s Amy. You know what? Because she decided to marry someone with an emotional range as wide as a teaspoon,” Elli winked at Nick. Nick let out a laugh.

“Alright, Ells. I already informed Amy that I won’t be home tonight. Now, wipe that frown off your forehead, go home. I apologize for interrupting your night, Ells. I know you care for him deeply,” Nick gave her a sincere smile.

“He is a dear friend of mine, Nick. You’re all equal,” Elli replied as she picked her bag which she left on the couch earlier.

Smirking, Nick stretched himself on the couch, “Okay, okay, I know you have someone waiting for you back home. Go, don’t keep him waiting,” He waved his hand as a manner to bid his goodbye.

Elli responded back, “Bye, Nick. Tell me about his condition in the morning. Good night.”

Nick observed Elli’s retreating figure, he rolled his eyes, then muttered when she finally exited the house, “Equal, my arse, Ells.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elli decided to pay another visit to Tom’s place to see how he was coping after receiving that wedding invitation. Will Elli’s presence help him or will it only stirred their situation even more.

Dresses in an off-white blouse paired with a black pencil skirt, Elli navigated around her kitchen. Busy flipping her pancake while her stomach kept making all king of sound, waiting to be fed. Too bad her cooking was interrupted with a deep voice reverberating from inside her bedroom.

"Elli, Michael is calling! Should I reject the call?"

Elli let out a small chuckle. Her boyfriend knew her well, talking with Michael Fassbender before having a proper breakfast sure is an act of travesty.

"Pick it up, Adrian. Pancake is almost ready," With one last flip, Elli transferred the pancakes into two plates. She drizzled both plates generously with maple syrup, and didn’t forget to add a sprinkle of sugar atop of her plate.

Washing her hand, she was about to jog to her room when she saw Adrian approaching her with white iPhone on his hand. His hair still damp and his navy blue hanging still loose on his neck, Elli reminded herself to fix it later.

Adrian handed the phone over to her, mouthing, "Be nice. He sounds drunk."

Rolling her eyes, Elli greeted the Germany-born actor who also used to be her employer, "Hello, Michael. How are you?"

Elli could picture him cheering with his sharky grin, filled with enthusiasm so early in the morning "Elli Lane! How are you? All good, I assume."

"How much did you drink, Michael?"

Michael groaned, "You wound me, Elli. I am not drinking. And If I did, you know I can handle them very well, Elli," He referred to her time working as his personal assistant. Yes, Elli Lane used to be Michael Fassbender’s personal assistant. She still couldn’t believe it either or what forced her to spend her day and night working for the roguish actor.

Then a deep laughter was heard from the background, Michael hushed the voice. His attempt was unsuccessful since the voice only grew louder, and Elli recognized to whom the owner of that voice, "Benedict," Nothing much was exchanged between her and Benedict Cumberbatch, even though both of them went to the same university. He was several years her senior at the University of Manchester and they were enrolled at different courses. He graduated, went to train at LAMDA. After that she never saw him again, apart from his role as the world’s best detective, many movies he was in, or his constant appearance on various media outlet. She met him again when she was at New Orleans where Michael and he were shooting 12 Years a Slave. And this time they developed a friendship due to their mutual concern over a certain Etonian.

“Elli, how’s life?” Benedict opened their conversation, taking the phone away from Michael’s hand.

“Good. How’s your wife? Baby is fine?”

“Sophie is great. We are very excited, it’s not long now until we welcome our -,” Benedict faked a cough, he didn’t want to reveal the gender of his baby, “child.”

Elli laughed, taking a sip from her coffee, “You think I will leak the gender of the long-awaited Cumberbaby to the media? I am not that desperate, Benedict.”

“That’s not what I mean. Truth is we want it to surprise us,” Benedict lied. Unclear noises were heard again, probably Michael causing a scene and demanded his phone back.

Michael cleared his throat, then spoke in his mother tongue. One of the main reasons why he hired Ellie at the first place is they both spoke German quite fluently, "Er liegt. Er erzählte mir von dem Baby am vergangenen Wochenende (He is lying. He told me about the baby this past weekend)."

“Das ist interessant (That is interesting)," Benedict was whining now, he didn‘t understand a single word that was just spoken betwen Michael and Elli, "Let’s safe that information for another time. Shall we, Michael? What are you guys up to anyway? Do you have another project together?"

"No. We're just catching up. No tricks are involved, I assure you, Elli.”

His mischievous tone didn’t go unnoticed by Elli. She stabbed her pancake before activating the loud speaker. Regretting her decision to pick the phone early in the morning, “You better keep that word, Michael. Or help me God. I'll release a scoop for you and Benedict. Something dirty, of course,” She jokingly threatened him. Her position as a media relation specialist means she knew almost everyone, every medium, in the entertainment industry that could very much stalled their career. Michael erupted with laughter, unfazed by Elli’s threat, "That sounds like fun, doesn’t it. I dare you to do that."

Elli shifted her eyes to watch Adrian who was scrolling through his iPad. He kept his laughter quite, but the shake of his shoulder couldn’t hide the glee even his face was facing the tablet.

"Sure, Michael. And Benedict is married now. Can you imagine the horror?"

Michael let Elli’s question came to pass, "No, don’t drag Benedict into this. Let it be just me. You know how much I love the thrill, besides I'm still single, Elli.”

And how Michael loved to tease her and she had mastered the art of ignorance after their time working together, "Not dating my former boss. Oh and I'm on loud speaker.”

"Hello, Adrian! I hope you know what you get yourself into, mate," Michael addressed his salute for Adrian. Both of them have met on several occasions, and have been civil enough since then.

Adrian eyed Elli who mouthed a small sorry at him, “Oh believe me, Michael, I know how to handle this lovely woman," he blew a kiss at his girlfriend, causing Elli to tittering with laughter.

“Are you at that coffee shop near your flat?” Elli turned her attention to the man at the other end of the conversation.

“Yes. I just got back from Los Angeles last weekend, short break from filming the man who created the device which are being used by nearly half of the Earth population,” Michael must has detectedsomething was off with Elli’s tone, so he passed back his phone to Benedict.

Michael must have warned him before he gave his phone to Benedict, because now concerned was clear on Benedict’s voice, “Something wrong, Elli?”

Exhaling loudly, Elli took her chance to shoot the question at Benedict, “Have you heard from Tom since your wedding, Benedict?”

“No. As a matter of fact, he left early on Sunday morning for What’s on Stage Awards on Sunday morning. Why?”

"Just asking,” Elli answered with shrugged.

With an exasperate sigh, Benedict countered her, "There's no such thing as just asking when it comes to Thomas.”

Elli scoffed, finally deciding to share the information with Benedict, “Carla is getting married."

"And?" Benedict impatiently demanded her to elaborate.

"It’s not rocket science, Benedict.”

Benedict gasped, “No. Don’t tell me she invites him to the wedding,” Benedict shook his head, refusing to acknowledge his own thought.

“She does.”

“What is going on inside Carla’s head, Elli?”

“I have no clue. I am planning to meet her today after work. I was at Tom’s house last night, and I left him with Nick.”

"Oh dear, it isn’t good. Have you heard from Nicholas this morning?” Benedict ran his hand through his black hair.

“I haven’t. I’m planning to go to Tom’s again later today after seeing Carla,” Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose, “You didn't see him, Benedict.”

“You haven’t seen him after all these years, Elli!” Michael’s rough voice piped in, interrupting Elli’s and Ben’s conversation.

“Oh for God’s sake, Michael!” Elli almost snapped at Michael’s inability to choose the appropriate time to join at her conversation with Benedict. Not to mention, his comment was not wrong either. Michael said the truth loud and clear, Elli Lane hasn’t met Tom Hiddleston in years, despite their claimed status as best friend, “Anyway, I should end this call. You boys behave. Especially you, Mr. Fassbender.”

Elli could totally picture Benedict hiding his smirk behind his hand while Michael roared with laughter. Before either of them managed to say another respond, Elli ended the call, turning her attention back to her boyfriend.

Finished with her pancake, Elli moved to sit on Adrian’s lap, Adrian nuzzled his cheek against hers, “You off to work, Elli?”

“Yes. And Mister, you have work to do as well,” Elli turned her face away, only Adrian took this chance to kiss the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

Humming as he blew light kiss across Elli’s neck, he spoke, “Until midnight today. Auditing at the end of the month, never fun, remember?”

“Of course, I do,” Elli managed to free herself from Adrian’s hold. Standing in front of him and admiring his face, his wavy dirty blonde hair slicked back, ready for work. His grey shirt somehow made his blue eyes more prominent than usual. Elli moved her hand to fix the tie around Adrian’s neck. Satisfied with his tie, her hand graced his chest slowly, Elli sighed, “I am planning to have a dinner around Soho later tonight, with Amy and Carla.”

“You sure you can handle that, Elli?”

“Of course, I am. Amy will be the buffer. And I am good at handling crisis, look at me. After years dealing with Michael, I still haven’t lost my mind. And with my job right now, with lots of daily pressure, and I am still me. Still pretty much the woman that you fall in love with.”

Elli paused, her mind wandering off. She added, “I need to know and hear Carla’s reason. Tom was doing much better then she pushed him over the edge again. I am afraid Tom might shut people out this time, I am hoping I can stop that from happening.”

“He never shut you out, love. He is on his best with you around,” Adrian squeezed her palm, reassuring her.

Smiling dryly, Elli mumbled, “We’ll see about that,” Elli gave a sideway glance at the clock, she cursed then proceeded to grab her bag, running late for work, “I have to go now, loads of stuff to cover. Text me, okay?”

“Sure, love. Take care.”

Elli gave a quick peck on Adrian’s lips, “Love you.”

Adrian kept his eyes as Elli turned the knob, exiting his flat, before he gave his breathy reply, “Love you too.”

***

A train wreck, that’s the appropriate word to describe Elli’s job today. As a former personal assistant to one of Britain’s finest actors, Elli thought she had dealt with everything. But nothing prepared her for the shitstorm caused by Marvel and Sony after they announced Spiderman’s comeback to the Marvel Cinematic Universe yesterday. And they had to find another actor to play Spiderman again which caused major outrage not only between fans but also between journalists as well since Garfield’s performance was well-received. He was victimized by the poor storyline on that last Spiderman movie. In addition to that, Marvel had pushed back several of their movies to accommodate a new standalone movie about the web-slinger. As the consequence, other studios were panicking to shift their movie’s release date as Marvel was pretty much in control of the box office’s dominance.

And now Elli Lane, a media relation specialist at Brencomm’s, one of the best PR firm in the enterainment industry, was sorting her email since her inbox was already flooded by messages and her phone won’t stop ringing either. After assembling the mightiest superheroes group on Earth and adding Sherlock Holmes and The Tenth Doctor to their cinematic universe, Elli always thought Marvel wouldn’t be able to drop another bombshell. Oh how wrong she was, Marvel outdid themselves again this time and Elli had to deal with the aftermath.

“Miss Lane, Garfield is officially out?” one of her colleagues, Callum, his head poked through the small gap between Elli’s office door.

“He is most likely out. Have you heard about his replacement, Callum?”

“Dylan O’brien, Logan Lerman. Marvel is looking for a much younger actor than Garfield.”

“Alright. Try to contact their management, see if you can get something from them. I’ll try to contact someone at Marvel, hopefully they’ll be more willing to share now,” Elli replied as she typed furiously. Dealing with Marvel had its own difficulty; they were known to be way too secretive. Even their actors have to be careful with their words during press tour, and they weren’t joking when they said Marvel hired a bunch of snipers.

Callum noted her instruction then retreating back to his room. Soon another person pushed the door opened, this time a woman with named Gill.

“Elli, someone ask about the possibility of Sherlock being pushed back to 2017.”

“BBC gave no comment. Give them scoop about Casual Vacancy instead. Maybe Poldark or tell them ITV had given green light to the series three of Broadchurch. Whatever you think is appropriate, Gill.”

“How about The Night Manager? Laurie and Hiddleston, and then who else?”

“Still no words. BBC promised to give us the scoop once they finalized the cast, so all we can do for now is wait.”

Elli spent the rest of her hours replying tons of email, texts, and answering the important phone calls. Mostly all she told them was she didn’t know anything more than they do. It was not entirely a lie because all the things surrounding this hottest piece of information were actually still quite vague.

Around lunch hour, Elli’s phone rang again. Judging by the assigned ringtone, she knew this call was not work-related. Her phone screen lighted up, Amy was written across it. With a chipper tone, Elli greeted her best cousin who also her best friend, “Amy!”

“Elli, are you okay? Have you had your lunch?” soft-spoken female voice which belonged to Nick’s wife who also her cousin heard from the other end of the connection.

“Hectic day at work. I was about to go out and grab some sandwich. Tonight still a go?”

“That’s why I called you, Ells. I have to cancel our dinner,” Amy whispered, knowing the upcoming disappointment from her cousin.

As predicted by Amy, Elli was let down by the news, “Why is that?”

“Nicholas has a rehearsal tonight, and Amanda is having a cold. I’m sorry, Ells.”

Leaning back to her headrest, Elli worried over her goddaughter, “Don’t be. Amanda is having a cold? I hope it’s not that bad. Oh yeah, I heard Nick is involved in a new play. It will be next month, right?” Elli sniggered then continued, “Or don’t tell me he agreed to compose a song for Carla’s wedding.”

Amy giggled as she heard Elli’s wild speculation, “No, just a common cold. Enough rest then she’ll be fine tomorrow,” She then steered the topic away, “You haven’t checked my text, have you, Ells?”

“My inbox was flooded with works. What did you text me about?”

“Carla is asking us to do the fitting for our dresses soon. I think she is doing hers as we speak,” Amy sighed, berating her friend for her attitude, “Check your phone, Ells. Carla told me she texted you but you haven’t replied.”

Elli nodded absentmindedly, “I will. Amy, did Nick say something about Tom?”

“He said Tom is doing well when he left him this morning,” Amy’s doubt didn’t go unnoticed by Elli of course.

“Oh well, as we already cancelled our night out, I think I should visit him after work,” Elli was unsure with her decision, seeking a second opinion from Amy.

“Are you sure about that, Ells?”

“I am not, Amy. But I have to do this, don’t I,” Elli retorted, “You didn’t see him last night,” Elli spoke softly, images of Tom last night flashed on her mind. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the tug inside her chest every time she remembered Tom sobbing in her embrace last night

“When was the last time you see him, Elli? Don’t tell me it’s last night, wait,” Amy tried to reword her question, her question needed to be on point if she wanted a straight answer from Elli, “When was the last time you and Tom saw each other before you held him until he slept in your arm last night?”

Elli sighed. Her answer would definitely bite her back, “August or September 2013, before he went to do The Dark World’s promo tour.”

“That’s two years ago. And yet you agreed to check on him last night, Ells. Tell me why, because I don’t get it.”

“Amy, your husband sounded anxious. I was available last night. Even I haven’t entered my flat when Nick called me. So, I postponed my sleep and went to Tom’s place,” Elli chewed on her bottom lip. Her argument was not strong enough to convince Amy.

“Ells, you’re my family. We’ve known each other for a very long time. I know you might get offended when I say this. But, hear me out. You’re about to tread on a murky water, Ells. You and Thomas always have that special connection. You and Tom are closer than you and me, you two have an understanding, something that we don’t share,” Amy stopped talking, letting her words to sink in Elli’s mind.

Raking her fingers through her dark hair, Elli huffed as she pictured Amy gazed softly at her with a bitter smile. As usual, Amy was right. Little Elli used to live in Oxford. She used to play with a boy with blonde curly hair, with sky-blue eyes. That was before she had to move out to Germany. Little Elli was miffed when she found she had to leave that lively boy behind. One can only imagined how chuffed Elli was when she was back at England years later, pursuing her bachelor’s degree at Manchester, Amy contacted her as she was studying at Pembroke College, Cambridge and met her old neighbor who happened to study Classics at the same college.

Elli’s lack of response sent Amy to question her again as Amy began to worry over her, “Elli, are you still there?”

Elli blinked several times before breathed out, “Yeah, Amy. Sorry, just remember something. I … I promise to be careful tonight,” Elli winced, her own words failed to convince her.

“Alright, just be careful. Don’t do anything you’ll regret. We know that soft spot you always have for Thomas. Remember it, just be patience with him, especially today since he may not in his best behavior,” They conversation was interrupted by a wailing cry from Amanda, Amy cursed, “Shite. I have to go, Ells. Amanda is screaming for her Mummy. Bye.”

“Shite? Ha, Amy, you sounded just like Nicholas. Anyhow, send Amanda a kiss from Aunt Ells, will you, Amy? Bye, see you in the coming days,” Elli terminated their call. Grabbing her purse, she walked out of her office to grab her favourite sandwich. As she made her way to the corner shop, her mind was preoccupied with Amy’s words and the possible outcome from her decision to see Tom tonight. In order for her meeting with Tom to end well, someone really should work their miracle.

***

Elli’s patience was thinning. She has been standing outside the electric gate for almost 15 minutes, pressing the bell repeatedly until her index finger grew sore, but still she got no response from the RADA-trained actor. Elli glared at the security camera which was installed on one of the corner of his house, hoping someone inside is watching the footage. Maybe his personal assistant, Olly, was inside and watching her and she hoped her glare was enough to convey her message that she got tired of waiting for the man. Tom or Olly better opened the door for her, before she opted to leave and back to her flat.

Thinking she had spent enough time waiting for Tom to open his door, Elli turned around, more than ready to leave Tom’s house before someone accused her for being a stalker. Once she turned back, she faced a man’s chest. Elli stumbled backwards, narrowly avoiding the collision. Peering up, Elli got a glimpse the man she has been waiting, staring down at her. His face still hidden underneath the hood of his jacket, but it didn’t hide the beads of sweat of his forehead.

“Elli,” Tom stated, surprised with her appearance in front of his house.

Elli gave a nod at her friend. A nod that was a tad too polite considering how close they are. Elli wince mentally at it, “Hello, Tom. Evening jog, I see.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Elli,” Tom stepped aside, marching towards his house to open the gate, “Come on in. I have a feeling that you’ve been waiting for quite some time.”

Elli simpered, knowing Tom must have read her irritated look. Following him inside, Elli plopped down at the black sofa in the middle of his spacious living room. Tom left Elli to wait in the living room, while he sauntered towards the other side of his house.

Emerging back from his kitchen, now wearing his plain black shirt, slightly freshen up after his evening jog, Tom enquired, "How’s life, Elli?"

"Great. How are you, Tom?"

Tom avoided her question, "Do you want something to drink? Tea?" His finger pointed at the coffee table at his left, “Whisky?”

Gazing at the brownish liquor, Elli shook her head politely. If they had to talk, one of them should be sober enough to do so, and Elli was determined to be that person.

Tom shrugged. He was on the move again, fetching a glass filled with ice cube, "How's work?" Tom fired another question at Elli while filling his glass.

Elli eyed Tom carefully as he took a single sip from his glass, she then responded his question dryly, “As quiet as it could be after your employee makes it to the headline again, Tom."

"Ah yes, the web-slinger," Tom spoke as he let the scotch travelled down his throat.

Elli tried to strike another conversation between them. At this point, she believed Tom was doing his best to push her away, "So, are you having a day off, Tom?"

"Actually, I have a bunch of reading materials."

His last answer was followed with an uncomfortable silence around his house. Elli shifted around her seat, she was getting restless by the lack of conversation between the two of them. Never in her mind had she figured her situation with Thomas, someone who she has known for almost as long as she could remember, would be this awkward.

Ending the silence, Tom mumbled a statement that caught her off guard, "You were here last night.”

Of all the words Tom could throw at her, he chose to bring the topic back now. Inhaling a handful of air, Elli answered, "I did."

"Why?"

"Nick called me."

"Ah Nicholas, " Tom sighed, actually feeling a little sorry for causing so much worry to Nicholas last night.

“Nick said you were supposed to meet him at a pub at Soho. But you were late for almost two hours, Tom. So, yes, he called me.”

Tom closed his eyes then he turned, and let his gaze travelled to his garden, his back facing Elli, “Nick was the one who put me back to my room."

Elli almost rolled her eyes at Tom’s statement, "That was pretty obvious since I don't have enough strength to carry a man like, Tom."

"Nicholas left this morning."

This one-way conversation started to become pointless as Tom was blatantly avoiding the talk about Carla’s wedding. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Elli reminded Tom of the situation again, "He has rehearsal. Amy called and cancelled our plan because Amanda is sick."

"Oh yes his new play at Prince Albert theatre."

Tom tore his eyes away from his backyard. With a little tilt of his head, he locked his eyes with Elli’s. His eyes were still a little red and puffy from last night. They weren’t as vibrant as they usually were. It looked as if there was a storm brewing underneath his eerily calm demeanour. A storm which was ready to explode any time, and its effect would be catastrophic.

"Elli, do you know about… about the wedding?"

This time it was Elli’s turn to remain silence as she contemplates her answers. It was only second before Elli decided to shield Tom from the truth, "No."

Narrowing his eyes at her, detecting her lie right away, Tom scoffed before he laughed dryly at Elli’s face. He shook his finger at her, “Elli. Remember that night when Carla broke up with me? When I asked for your silence, to just listen to me as I tried desperately to undo my mistakes or hope all of that was just a dream. This time, I need you to do the exact same thing, only I don’t want your silence. I want your honesty. Stop lying! Tell me the truth!”

Elli didn’t back down, she stood up as she fiddled with her fingers. She approached the actor who was now bowing down, looking straight to his own toes. Standing within Tom’s personal space, ready to tell him the truth, surrendering to him, “Fine. What do you want to know, Tom?”

“From the beginning. For instance, how long have you known, Elli?

Elli tried to pinpoint the exact time, she hummed, "Late October to early November."

“You are going to be one of the bridesmaids, I assume?”

Elli came back with another explanation, “Yes. Carla asked for my availability, told her I am based in London now therefore I will always be ready whenever she calls.”

“Have you seen the invitation before I gave it to you last night?” Tom probed Elli with more questions, still staring at his empty garden.

“No, last night is my first time seeing it. Since Nicholas called me to see you even before I had the chance to enter my flat,” Elli exhaled slowly, the air around them was filled with tension as their supposedly first proper chat after those time spent away from each other turned into an interrogation scene.

“Who is Lucas?” the shudder on his broad should as he mentioned the grooms name didn’t go unnoticed by Elli.

“Lucas is her fiancé. He used to be a lecturer at NYU, but now he spends several months teaching at Royal College of Art. They met when Carla moved back to New York after breaking up with you. No cheating, Tom, if that’s what you are thinking,” Elli spoke in a monotonous tone, almost sounded like she has been practicing that sentence over and over again inside her head.

Tom turned his body, his eyes averted Elli’s as he stared at his ceiling with his hand inside his pocket, “You and Amy are bridesmaids. Amanda is going to be the flower girl. Nicholas is going to play the music. Splendid, isn’t it?” He blurted out his wild speculation.

Elli outstretched her hand, touching Tom’s upper arm lightly. The shock on his face was undeniable as her finger tips landed its touch upon his arm, his eyes darted back and forth between her fingers and her face, “You know, Tom, if you don’t want to be there. If you think that’s too much for you, that’s fine. I’ll make an excuse for you. I’ll try my best to talk to her. I believe Carla will understand that.”

Instead of responding, Tom dismissed Elli’s statement, preparing another question for her, the one he has been dying to ask her, “Correct me if I’m wrong, Elli. But last night was the first time we see eachother after years. Why did you come here last night?”

“That’s not entirely true. You know that. Don’t try to turn this situation around, Tom,”

“No,” Tom groaned, shaking his head with his eyes tightly shut, “I am trying to be logical here. We saw each other right before I flied out to do the promo tour for The Dark World. It was right before you take your current job, after you left Michael Fassbender, and before that accident,” Both of them knew exactly which accident Tom was referring to, the accident that set everything in motion, that made Tom lost Carla once and for all.

Approaching Tom, Elli dared to ask the one question that has been bugging her mind on those sleepless nights, “Don’t you remember all those late night calls, texts, video calls between us, Tom?”

Tom laughed at her question, pulling out his light blonde locks, “Oh, I do, Elli. I do,” Tom gulped down his whisky, enjoying the burning sensation from the liquid as it travelled down his throat, before pouring in another shot, “And let’s don’t change the rule. I want the truth. Tell me, Elli, if this,” with the glass still on his grip, Tom gestured at the distance between him and Elli, “Is the same as those late phone calls, texts, video calls, pictures that we’ve exchanged back and forth these years, Elli?” His voice was laced with desperation.

Elli hesitated while her eyes observing the man and his gaze transfixed at her. His chest rose up and down violently, barely containing his emotion.Elli almost cowering in fear, but she still managed to salvage a smidgen of her courage to face this man and yet she sighed in defeat, “It’s not the same, Tom.”

“Great, now we’re finally on the same boat,” Tom slapped his hand against his thigh then continued, “Why last night, Elli? Of all time, why you pick last night to show up at my house again?”

“I told you. Nick called me and you know I live not far from here.”

“Is that all? Because pity? Because you want to see me, Thomas William Hiddleston, on his rise to fame but he couldn’t get over his ex after three years,” Elli thought his screaming would scare her, but no. He didn’t scream at her, instead he kept his voice menacingly low and steady. He breathed his words as he accentuated it eloquently one by one. This was definitely wilder, if not unpredictable.

“No.”

Tom clenched then unclenched his hand, controlling his feelings, saving this woman from his outburst, “Then why?” Tom hissed as he slowly became fed up circling the same question repeatedly.

I don’t know either. But that sentence didn’t leave her mouth, instead she answered, “Maybe … maybe, I want to help you. Just like you always did back in Oxford when we were little,” she ended her answer with a wry smile across her lips. Her eyes softened up a bit as she recalled those moments she spent with Tom before moving to Berlin.

Tom clicked his tongue, not satisfied with her answer, “Maybe it’s just pity, Elli. Or maybe you see me as something that matches with your job desk and tomorrow morning my name and Carla will be all over those tabloids. Maybe you should warn Luke beforehand. After spending so much time with Fassbender, you just can’t help it, huh?”

Tom’s accusation punched something inside her, causing her to staggering on her feet, “I will never do that.”

With her answer, Tom lost it. He strode forward, standing dangerously close to Elli. He grabbed her shoulders with his trembling hands, almost shaking Elli’s body, “Then cut the crap! Tell me the truth like you promised me earlier!”

Elli was taken aback with Tom’s sudden movement, she preferred to remain silence, simply because she was nervous her next words would only turn into regret.

Tom rubbed his hand on his face, suddenly grey very tired. He almost pleaded in front of the black-haired woman, “Come on, Elli. You promised me the truth. What’s hidden with the truth? Why do you having such a hard time letting it out of your mind?”

Elli wanted to say something, but she was not sure what will come out from her mouth either, and at this point it would probably do more harm than good. She was pretty much still tongue-tied.

Grabbing his liquor-filled, glassed Tom swigged his whisky in one gulp, emptying the glass. He put down the glass on the table with a loud clinking sound. His voice turned rough, and several notes deeper.

“Was Adrian not available last night to keep your bed warm? So as soon as you realised I’m available, you jump at the first chance you got. You wanted to take advantage of me. To be frank, Elli, I was wondering how that feels like when the situation is being reversed. Because usually I am the one who takes the advantage of those women, bringing them back to my room for some company. It seemed fitting that you want to fuck me, after all you are the woman who has slept with Michael Fassbender,” Tom had tapped his index finger against his chin, thinking for a proper word then he snapped his fingers, “Research comparison, is that what they call it?”

Tom’s monologue stunned Elli, she blinked repeatedly as she still couldn’t believe the words he just threw at her. Tom always managed to find his way with words and sometimes she wondered what if Tom used that skill to attack people. And now that imagination just became a reality, Tom weaponized those words and Elli stood defenselessly as the target.

Seeing how Elli still didn’t respond to any of his outburst, Tom opted to shoot another question at her, sincerely hoped this one would earn some respond from the woman, “Tell me, Elli, did Adrian finally choose to leave you as well?”

Elli couldn’t believe her ears. How dare he play this card? Sure, he must have been drinking before her arrival, before he went out for a jog, but that still didn’t justify his action.

She glared at Tom as soon as she finished processing his last question inside her brain. And of course Thomas glared back at her, challenging her. Tom watched her coming closer to him, smirking. That smirk didn’t stay long because next thing he realized a hand had landed on his left cheek.

Not only that, Elli then poured the whisky she refused to drink earlier. God knows after Tom’s words she needed more than a glass. Emptying the glass with one chug, Elli held back her cringe as she tasted the liquid on her throat. Then she grabbed the bottle, and drained its content on Tom’s face. The man didn’t expecting such attack could only gasped as the liquor trailed down his chiseled feature.

“I came because I care, Tom. You are a dear friend of mine. That’s probably the most appropriate answer for now,” Elli hissed while Tom still struggling to wipe off the whisky from his face. Elli didn’t spend more time inside his house, having enough dealing with Tom for that day. She crossed the living room, towards the main door, slamming it behind her back, leaving the man who she claimed to be her best friend alone, hopefully the whisky on his face would set his mind straight again.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her heated conversation with Tom the day before, Elli Lane decided to have a little chat with two of her friends. Unfortunately, the chat didn't turn out as she wanted it to be. With a lot of things inside her mind, Elli decided to pay her former boss, Michael Fassbender, a visit.

****   


 

Elli jogged along the bustling street in Central London to reach that coffee shop, the one they always frequented whenever they were having planning to have a little chat with each other. Her phone has been vibrating non-stop inside her bag as two of her friends has been waiting for her arrival inside the cafe for quite some time now.

“Elli!” greeted both of them almost simultaneously.

“Amy!” Hasn’t seen her lovely cousin for a while, she pulled her into a big hug. Then gave another hug to the blonde woman on Amy’s left, “Carla.”

Amy signaling the waiter to hand the menu to Elli, “How’s your day, cousin?”

Ordering a cup of latte, Elli sighed, “Better than yesterday because yesterday was beyond hectic. You know how the entertainment industry is like sometimes, they just love surprising us.”

“Tell us more about that, Ells!” Carla leaned back into her chair.

“They’re remaking Spiderman.”

Carla’s head shook in disappointment, “Again? I like Garfield in the role, better than what Maguire did actually.”

“You have a thing for Brits, don’t you?” Elli retorted then thanking the waitress for her much missed latte.

Chuckling, Carla took a sip from her cup, “I used to. But now my fiancée is a New Yorker.”

Elli shrugged off Carla’s response, her hands cradling her cup. Amy, being a good mediator that she was, decided to chime in.

“Amanda is doing better. She misses you, Ells. You should come visit us sometimes.”

“I will. I think she wanted me to braid her hair again.”

Giggling, Amy spoke with her hushed-tone, “Careful, Ells. You got a tough competition in that department now.”

Elli raised her eyebrow, clearly confused with Amy’s reply.

“You know Tom visited us last December and turned out that man can braid! Who would’ve thought?”

Amy’s statement hit something inside Elli’s heart. She still remembered. She wouldn’t be able to forget. How Tom used to braid her hair when she was little and sometimes Elli used that moment to escape from her house when the atmosphere became to suffocating for her liking. But right now, she would rather not to visit that particular corner inside her mind, especially after her whole encounter with Tom yesterday.

“Earth to, Elli!” Carla snapped her out of her trance.

Tilting her head, Elli showed them her blank expression, hoping it was convincing enough for her friends to believe she was tired because of her job, not her past with Tom that kept threatening to crawl back anytime soon and the whole fight she had yesterday with that man.

Carla didn’t see past her façade, instead she carried on the discussion about her upcoming wedding with much enthusiasm.

“Have you checked those pictures of the bridesmaid dress that I sent to you?”

Amy nodded quickly. Her short black curls bouncing against her shoulder, “So, judging by your invitation, green is the main theme. I think I’ll go with pistachio green or mint. I’m leaning towards the mint green. More appropriate with the season, a borderline between spring and summer.”

Carla clapped her hand joyfully, thankful for Amy’s input. Then she turned her attention to Elli who was staring mindlessly into her coffee cup. Expecting the black liquid would turn into a black hole and swallowed her, transporting her back to the comfort of her flat where she could sort herself out.

“What do you think, Ells?”

Hearing how the question was being addressed to her now, Elli voiced out her timid reply, “I’ll go with Amy’s choice, or what the other bridesmaids pick. I am not good with colour, Carla.”

Carla frowned as she detected the discomfort in Elli’s tone, “Are you okay, Ells?”

“Can’t you replace me with you other friend to be your bridesmaid? I am not sure I am the right person for this kind of thing,” the words left slipped from her mouth even before Elli put her filter on.

Carla and Amy have known Elli for years made them prepared for Elli’s outburst. The thing about Elli was she was not the one to hide her thoughts or she tried to hide them at times – like now, only to fail miserably.

Amy sighed, deciding to take control of the conversation now, “How is Tom, Ells?”

And once Elli spoke her mind, she wouldn’t be able to tone it down, “Like hell. He is crying again, probably drinking as well. Is that what you want, Carla?” Elli shoot dagger at the only blonde at the table before continuing, almost hissing at her, “What are you thinking? Inviting him to your wedding! That’s downright ridiculous! You know when was the last time he was crying? That’s when you ended your relationship with him but that’s understandable, given his attitude. Even I can’t stand in his defense that time. But now, he is still recovering and he’s been doing much better. Why do you hurt him again, Carla?”

Carla put her tea cup back to its sauce. She sighed, before meeting Elli’s demanding gaze and gave her the long-awaited explanation, “I am moving to New York after my wedding because I got a teaching position at Julliard. Lucas also will soon finish his tenure here, then he’ll have to move back to NYU. So, we think about combining our wedding and farewell.”

“That’s wonderful, Carla!” Amy almost bounced up and down on her seat.

Gulping down her latte, Elli then spat at them, “Yeah. It’ll be even more wonderful if we tell that to Tom!”

Seeing how Elli began to get all riled up, Amy decided it’s time to act as the buffer at this exchange, “Elli. Calm down.”

Amy reached over the table but Elli quickly pulled her hand away before Amy had the chance to reach it, “You’re moving back to New York. Shocking,” Elli scoffed at Carla’s newest revelation, “Killing him will hurt less, Carla.”

“You’re putting the blame on me, Ells,” Carla pinched the bridge of her nose. Elli wouldn’t let this one go easily.

Elli shook her head, disagreeing with Carla, “I am not blaming you. I just can’t bring myself into your position. And you know how our attempt at fixing him,”

“You fix him, Ells.”

Amy warned Carla now as she sensed how the event began to shift right in front of her, “Don’t go there.”

“Have I not myself clear enough, Carla? I said we which means I am including Amy, Nick, his mum and his sisters!”

“You care about him.”

Much to her dismay, the subject of their conversation began to shift. Elli ruffled up her black locks, “Oh hell yes. I do care for him. Why is this about me now?”

There were times when Carla could be such a thickhead, and right now was definitely one of those moments. She kept her eyes at Elli who was more than ready to flip their table at any second now, “Because you are the one who has been on his side every step of the way.”

“You don’t know that, Carla,” Elli’s voice was a mere whisper now as her memory from yesterday came rushing back into her mind. She tried to blink out the tears that began to form at the corner of her eyes. But her emotions betrayed her as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Seeing the lone tears on Elli’s cheek, Amy gasped, “What did Tom say last night, Ells?”

With a dry laugh, Elli answered her cousin’s question, “He accused me of sleeping with Michael. He also brought up the topic about my parents,” Elli then croaked out as she tried to swallow the lump on the back of her throat, “He said I was there because Adrian left me, just like my dad did when I was a kid.”

Didn’t fully believe Elli’s retelling, Carla exclaimed, “He did not!”

“Surprise you doesn’t it. His outburst, I should have known better. Remembering how calm and patient he usually is, his anger would be explosive. I shouldn’t have been there. You warned me, Amy,” Elli took a glance at the woman who sat across her.

Then something that was quite scarce happened. Amy, the supposedly patience mediator, began to lose her calm as well. Amy was seething with anger now, “Ells. He’ll apologize. I’ll make him to.”

“No, Amy. You don’t and can’t.”

Gritting her teeth, Amy made another point, “Oh believe me. I can. That idiot”

Deciding to deal with her some other times when they were alone. Amy spoke to Carla again, smiling apologetically, “I tried to lie to his face, Carla. But he saw the truth. Tom always does. I tried to sugarcoat it to no avail. So, he lashed out on me,” Just like a wounded animal, so wild and raw, Elli continued but kept those words inside her head instead.

“Even I offered myself to be the mediator but he downright refused me. God, I am about to make a scene here,” Elli wiped the tears that kept streaming down her face, “Carla, he can’t refuse your invitation.”

“It’s not an obligation.”

“It is for him. You used to be that special someone, remember?”

With her head down, Carla murmured, “Oh, Elli. It’s never in my intention to do so.”

“Love is a pesky thing. Sometimes it breaks you. Sometimes it turns you into a better person,” Elli stood up and fished out enough money to pay for her latte, “I should leave now, meeting starts real soon. Sorry for crying and acting like a bitch. I’ll talk to you later,” Turning on her heels, she waved her goodbye as she headed for the exit door.

* * *

No. She had no meeting, and she didn’t go back to her flat either. Instead, she boarded another route to Hackney where she used to work several years ago. Still having the route etched on her brain, Elli made her way to her former employer’s flat. Just when her index finger ghosted over the button to ring his flat, Michael opened the flat’s door with that naughty smirk across his lips.

“Miss Lane, do we have an interview or something?”

“I am not a reporter. Let me in, Fassbender,” Elli kept her head down, her eyes transfixed on the point of her flats.

Michael frowned at her unusual attitude but he stepped aside nonetheless. Making enough space for her to enter his flat, “Sure, Elli. Come on in.”

Still refusing to meet his gaze, Elli waddled through the flat that she was still very familiar with. Michael kept his eyes on her back as he watched her walked to his kitchen when suddenly he heard that rustling, clinging sounds that he was sure was coming from the inside of his liquor cabinet. Sensing what she was about to do, Michael rushed to his kitchen. True to his prediction, Elli already held a glass that was already filled with whisky on her hand and that was the first time Michael had a clearer look on her face. He noticed those tear-stained on her alabaster cheek. In a lighting speed, Michael snatched the glass away from her hand, emptying its content to the sink.

“Elli, Elli. Calm down.”

Huffing, she forced herself to pass through that tiny gap between Michael and the sink as he kept blocking her way out. A clear sign from him of demanding Elli to spill everything that has been disturbing her mind.

Storming out of Michael’s kitchen, Elli began cleaning up the mess inside the bachelor’s pad. Be it those scripts scattered around the table, be it those takeaway food boxes, or be it those dirty clothes on the floor. Anything as long as the gears inside her mind would stop turning.

“Elli, stop. Come on,” Michael requested gently. Although seeing his former P.A. being so upset was nothing new for him, but it still didn’t feel right.

When he finally cornered her, Michael spoke once more, “Elli, don’t be like this.”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t be difficult, Elli.”

“I said shut up, Michael!” Elli screamed out, her hands pushed his body away from hers. Didn’t expecting that much force coming from her, Michael stumbled backwards. Flexing his jaw, Michael decided it’s time to be a bit assertive with her.

“What now, Ells! You barged into my flat, heading straight to my kitchen to grab something from my liquor stash, and now you asked me to shut my mouth. Who do you think you are? My flat is not an open bar. You are no longer my personal assistant, and you’re certainly not my girlfriend!”

His words felt like a bucket of ice are being dumped over her head. Elli stopped on her track and rubbed her hand over her face, “I am sorry, Michael.”

Flashing his wide grin, Michael shook his head, “You and your ugly tantrum. Although, I’ve to say I’ve seen worse coming from you, Lane,” Michael grabbed her hand, dragging her to his brown leather couch, “So, sit down and tell me what got you this irritated.”

“I just had a lovely chat with Amy and Carla.”

“The infamous Carla?”

Elli nodded sagely, “The one and only. Only this time I don’t understand her at all.”

After fetching a bottle of mineral water for Elli, Michael lounged on the other end of the couch with his feet rested on Elli’s lap comfortably, “She is getting married, Ells. Isn’t it every woman’s dream? They wish for a lovely wedding wearing beautiful dress, flowers, surrounded with closed friends and families. Such an intimate ceremony, they said. Maybe if you want, you can propose to Adrian.”

Always trust Mr. Fassbender to throw a conversation off from its course. Elli smacked his feet, “Michael.”

“That’s what we called as equality. Women these days need to get down on their knees,” Elli almost snorted upon hearing the double entendre at Michael’s last statement, “Oh, stop that dirty thought. I mean that in a romantic way, you know proposing.”

Elli leaned back to the couch while she container her laughter. Some might said Michael Fassbender was the last person you looked for when you’re looking for some words of wisdom, but she begged to differ with those people. Yes, Michael was not really the wisest person around, but he was the only one she knew who somehow always managed to see the bright side in everything. For her, Michael would be that friend who would easily lift off the weight from her shoulder when she was feeling down. His carefree attitude lead to this friendship that lasted even though Elli had quitted her job. And she for once didn’t even think she would consider another actor as her close friend.

“That is not the whole point of this conversation.”

“I am doing that because you’re being vague, Elli.”

“Am I?”

Michael gave her a knowing look, “Despite your close relationship with him, I don’t know a shit about Hiddleston. Other than we usually get the same script sends our way and he sent you and Ben into panic mode yesterday. Now that’s an interesting point. From my experience, there’re only several things that agitated you,” For a theatrical effect, Michael paused his little speech. Earning him an exasperated sigh from the raven-haired woman, “Late meal, transatlantic flights, your Dad, Adrian, and last but not least, Thomas.”

Seeing how Michael was trying to crack down and solve her current predicament, Elli decided to drop him the question now, “Have you ever cried over a woman?”

Caught off-guard with her question, Michael responded quickly, “Nope,” He kept his eyes on her face, pushing her to put explain more about her question.

“I went to his place and he cried in my arms.”

“He loves her,” Michael corrected his statemen, “Or maybe loved is a more appropriate term.”

“He shed a lot of tears for Carla, Michael.”

“It’s bothering you. And here you are, Elli. Hiding. Where’s Adrian anyway?”

Elli groaned at Michael’s accusation, “Adrian knows this place.”

Clicking his tongue, Michael shook his finger at her, “You are not running away from Adrian but from Tom. Anyhow, why does she invite him to her wedding?”

“Carla and her future husband are moving back to New York. You know she used to be a ballerina. I have told you this story,” Elli turned her head to face Michael who was now staring at the ceiling of his own flat. Sensing her gaze, Michael turned his attention to Elli as well and responded with another negative answer.

“No.”

Elli puffed out her breath. Well if she wanted to share this story with him, then she might as well told Michael the entire truth, “She was before she got that ankle injury which broke her career as well as her relationship with Tom.”

“Tom is an idiot. He didn’t fight for her.”

Elli chided him again this time around, “Michael.”

Michael propped himself up to get a better look at Elli. His head leaned against the armrest, “Listen. If he really loves her, he’ll fight her. And he didn’t even date her in public. Sure, Tom had a feeling for Carla. But that’s not love. At least, that’s not what my definition of love is.”

“You said Tom did love her.”

“That’s before I know what caused their breakup. I put two and two together now and I’ve concluded that they might like and love each other but not _in_ love,” His wide grin was on full display now as if he just won another awards.

“I tried to lie to him. Hoping it’d make him feel better. But he didn’t. He was so furious, Michael. He said I was there only because Adrian had left me and I wanted to take an advantage of his vulnerable state.”

Their conversation was sure has began to take an interesting turn. Michael’s grin kept plastered across his lips, “Oohh. That’s intriguing.”

“It is not! Do you want me to continue or not?”

“Please do.”

Inhaling a lungful of air, Elli told Michael more about the event that went down last night, “He brought up that topic about my dad. How dad left me that leads to me moving to Germany with mum. Heck, he even comparing Adrian with dad.”

“What an idiot. Sorry but there’s no way that Adrian will turn into someone like your dad. He is a good guy and very smitten with you. I am willing to bet my own career on that,” Michael stopped to reply to whatever message he just received on his phone, then continued, “Elli, listen to me. I am sure right now Tom is regretting everything he said to you yesterday. He will apologize to you. While you, being yourself, will accept his apologies. No matter how hard you deny it. And as for Carla, just let her go. If she thinks she’s good with her future husband then so be it. We can control people all the time, Elli.”

Elli bit on her bottom lip, “You’re fast to reach that conclusion and I haven’t told you the worst part of my talk with Tom yesterday.”

Michael hummed, still listening to Elli even his eyes still fixed on his phone screen.

“He thought I slept with you.”

Elli’s statement was more than enough to turn his attention back to his former personal assistant, “Last time I check, you are immune to this face.”

“That time when you tried to kiss me,” Elli recounted those moments when she and Michael almost shared a lip-lock.

Michael put both his hands up, trying to justify his actions again. Even he already did that years ago after Elli slapped his face not once, but twice, “That’s like an additional test to ensure that you are the right person to be my personal assistant. I need someone professional and you’re not ugly either, Elli. Also, I’m just a man.”

“How about our second time?”

“Part of my learning experience for Shame.”

Elli didn’t want to bring back this topic, but she did that nonetheless, “And third time?”

Lifting his feet off Elli’s lap, Michael sat bolt upright. He moved closer to Elli, draping his arm across his shoulder casually, “How can I forget our third time? That’s the only time with you being the one who initiated the whole action.”

Clearing her throat to cover up her embarrassment, Elli then covered up her reddening cheek using her hair, “Did I? Details are a little cloudy.”

Tapping his finger against his stubble-covered chin, Michael recalled that moment after Elli helped her so-called best friend and then came back to his place, looking distraught with too much alcohol in her system, "You swayed your hips as you made your way towards me. You began straddling my lap, before unbuttoning that shirt of yours. Revealing your scarlet bra, grinding your center against my crotch with your lips ghosting over mine. I need to take a very cold shower after that."

"So, now you're afraid that history will repeat itself if I drank your whisky?" Elli shoved Michael’s arm away from her shoulder.

"Like I said I'm just a man!" But Michael quickly added with a much softer tone, “I know you’ve been crying too, Elli. I just don’t want history to repeat itself.”

Elli rolled her eyes then threw in her snark, “That’s life, isn’t it? They have that tendency to be a bit repetitive.”

Dismissing her snide comment, Michael kept giving Elli a piece from his mind, “Elli, As much as you want to end your friendship with Tom, you can’t. Look at what you did yesterday, visiting his place while he is pretty much broken after years not seeing him. I don’t know what’s gotten into your head, but I am sure that decision shocked him and yourself too.”

Michael’s words stunned Elli to silence. Her hands moved on their own accord to grab her blue handbag. Standing abruptly, she fixed her bag on her shoulder and faced Michael as she was about to leave the flat, “One of the main reasons I am resigning as your personal assistant is because of that constant travelling that force me away from my family and friends! You know that! So this is me, Elli Lane, trying to be there for her friends, to make up for the time she had missed. But guess what? That friend, the one she worried the most, didn’t need her, and that fucking hurts!”

Before Michael had the opportunity to apologize, Elli raised her perfectly manicured finger, “Leave me be. Don’t worry, I am heading back home. No, I am not going to drink. I’ll just sleep it off,” Her voice sounded weary as this emotional baggage began to invade every corner in her heart and mind. She strode towards the door and slammed it shut behind her back without looking back at the Irish actor who just shook his head. Knowing there’s nothing much he could do if Elli had set her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowing what happened between Tom and Elli during their last meeting, Nick decided to play the role of the good mediator. While Tom wondered is it too late to save her friendship with the woman - or there's still hope after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we go, the latest chapter of Tom and Elli. Sorry for the slight delay. Enjoy and tell me what you think :D

Nick tilted his head to get a better look of the man who just showed himself in the middle of the living room, “Look at who is finally home!”

“This is my house, Nicholas,” Tom didn’t even glance at his friend, “And I don’t remember giving you the permission to enter my house.”

_He could be such a thickheaded person sometimes_ , Nick sighed, “You’ve been avoiding us again. So, I believe your permission isn’t really needed, Tom.”

Tom leaned against the wall, his lips remained firmly shut. He refrained from looking at Nick even when he knew Nick has been trying to reach him for weeks. His assistant and Luke had disturbed him enough by playing the role of Nick’s messenger.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment now? Real mature, Thomas! It’s been weeks since we received that damned wedding invitation and you didn’t return our calls!” Nick was on the verge to raise hell. Tom better responded to his questions or things wouldn’t end well.

“And do I even have to tell you Amy’s outrage when she found out what’s going on the last time you and Elli saw each other?”

Out of all the words that had been said, the drop of Elli’s name was the one that could force Tom to open his mouth, “How did Amy find out about that?”

Nick let out a dry laugh, “She had a lovely chat with Amy and Carla. Too bad in the end, it didn’t turn out to be that lovely.”

Within second, Tom was back to his ignorant self, “Why was that?”

“Bloody hell, Tom. You accused her for sleeping with Michael Fassbender and you also mentioned her issue with her parent. And what worse is Elli almost backed out from being one of Carla’s bridesmaids.”

Tom whispered, his expression remained impassive, “And those are not right?”

Clenching his fists, Nick laid down more facts, “Elli is many things but she isn’t a cheater. She is also not someone who will turn down our requests.”

_Or more specifically, your requests, Thomas_. Nick let those words stayed in his mind instead.

Nick saw Tom flexing his jaw, preparing to counter his argument, but Nick didn’t give him the chance to do so, “You know Elli’s troubled childhood better than I do. How his father left her and her mother, forcing them to move to Germany. The two of you used to exchange postcards when Elli was in Germany. You understand her struggles and yet you chose to bring that topic up again.”

“She lied to me,” Tom spoke in his defence.

Nick raised his tone. He had to knock some sense into Tom’s head soon before he resorted to another method to solve this problem, “And do you really think things would be different if Elli told you the truth from the beginning?” Nick rubbed his hand over his face, tired that this exchange was getting nowhere. “I get it, Tom. Carla might be acting like a bitch, inviting you to her wedding. That’s something. But for you to lash out on Elli, that’s out of line.”

Tom lifted his face, his blue eyes met with Nick’s hazel one, “We haven’t seen each other in a while, Nick.”

Nick stared at him in disbelief, “That still doesn’t give you the right to act like a jerk towards her.”

“What choice do I have?”

“At the very least, you could try to be hostile. There’s no need to mention her past,” Nick ran his hand against his raven hair.

Tom turned his head, looking straight into his barren backyard. It seemed like avoiding Nick was his preferred activity now, “I haven’t seen her since my last break-up.”

“Nothing new with that bit of information, Tom,” Tom’s one-sentence replies were so unlike him and they were beginning to get under Nick’s skin.

“You’re the one who called Elli that night.”

This version of Tom was even denser than the regular Tom and Nick wondered for how long he would be able to put up with Tom’s tantrum this time, “I did. I was afraid that you might be doing something stupid!”

“How about fell asleep in her arms?” Tom watched Nick closely, waiting for his reaction.

Nick shrugged his shoulder before telling his opinion, “Knowing your tendency, finding you in Elli’s arms is a relief.”

Tom was still keeping mum, his expression remained stoic. He might have bulked up a little for his latest role as an ex-military turned spy, making him look healthy physically – compared to his role as Hillbilly Shakespeare. But his blue orbs never lie as they appeared weary, telling his emotional upheaval.

Still standing tall during the course of the entire conversation, Tom brought up another topic, “You’re here on your wife’s behalf. Am I correct? Instead of sending her beloved husband, why doesn’t her come over here by herself?”

“Oh believe me, Amy is very close to come over here and set this house on fire,” Nick scoffed as he noticed Tom’s right eyebrow shot upwards after hearing this latest bit of revelation. At least Tom still found his joke to be amusing in between this exchange. “And then I thought maybe my method would be less conspicuous, so I volunteered to go into the lion’s den.”

Sparing Nick a glance, Tom grumbled, “She’s protecting Elli.”

Tom may have said that in a hushed tone but Nick didn’t miss his latest jab, and it was more than enough to make Nick saw red. Enough words, this time he had to act. Without even blinking, he raised from his seat, crossing the room in a flash before smacking Tom square on the jaw.

Staggering backwards, Tom scowled at his best mate. He was about to throw another shade at Nick but Nick beat him into it by landed another punch.

“You are damn right! We are protecting Elli. That girl fought for you, Thomas! And you, my friend, have made a terrible mistake. I bet your passionate fans wouldn’t think very highly of you again after they found out what had transpired between you and Carla. Right now I can’t even think of someone who would willingly be your shield,” Nick spat out, chest heaving after giving the actor a piece of his mind.

Tom brought this thumb to the upper corner of his left lips, wiping off the blood that’s leaking from the fresh cut. “You think I didn’t try to make amends to Elli? Check my phone, Nicholas!” Tom pointed at a coffee table in which his phone was resting on top of it.

Nick did as he was told. Unlocking Tom’s phone, Nick checked his inbox, chat log, and other messaging applications. From all the messages and outgoing calls, Nick could gather that Tom already tried apologising to Elli but it seemed like the woman was beyond pissed right now.

Tossing the phone back to its owner, Nick shook his head, “Try harder, Tom.”

With a weak smile, Tom huffed, “I think this might be the end.”

_These two idiots_ , Nick pondered.

“Oh come on, Hiddleston. You guys are too stubborn for your own good, yet somehow your friendship remains intact. If she can find her way around you, then I believe you can too. Good luck,” Nick patted Tom’s shoulder, reassuring his friend that all is not lost between him and Elli, contrary to Tom’s belief.

“So, you’re not going to punch me some more?” Tom yelled out to Nick who was already on his way to leave the house.

Knowing Tom all too well, Nick smirked. He knew that voice, the playfulness behind it. It’s like something has been put back to its right place and his mind were already plotting out his next move, Nick was sure of it.

Without turning his back, Nick told him his answer, “If you keep on moping instead of doing something then I will, Tom.”

***

"Stop staring, Elli,” Adrian mumbled whilst kept reading the book on his lap.

Elli whined, "Why is everything so quite? And you prefer to be with that book rather than be with me?" Her lips pouted as she moved closer to tear her boyfriend’s attention from the book.

Sensing her girlfriend was getting a bit antsy which was a common occurrence for these past weeks. Adrian put away his book, "You never like quite.”

"I don’t find it comforting, Adrian," Elli rolled her eyes.

"Do you want me then?” He pulled her closer, her body flushed against his. "Come here."

Giggling, Elli fell into Adrian’s lap unceremoniously. Snuggling against him, her head rested atop of his chest before she blew kisses along the column of his neck, moving upward before gently licking the shell of his ear. He tilted his head, providing Elli with a better access. While Elli kept on nibbling his neck, Adrian caught a silhouette of a black Jaguar pulling over on the parking spot of their building.

As much as Adrian enjoyed this activity with Elli, the arrival of that Jaguar was enough for him to push Elli away. The owner of that Jaguar was the one who was able to put an end to Elli’s agitation.

Didn’t seem too pleased with her boyfriend’s rejection, Elli groaned, “Why?”

“I just saw a Jaguar on the parking spot,” Adrian showed his sheepish smile.

Her forehead crinkled in confusion, “It’s not uncommon to see a Jaguar around London. Maybe I have a new neighbor who is rich.”

“An F-type, Elli,” Adrian added with a knowing look across his face.

Looking away from Adrian, Elli talked under her breath. “Tom.”

“I know you’re beyond pissed at him but you have to speak with him. Sooner the better,” Adrian tilted her face, forcing her to look straight into his eyes.

“Can’t you be the one who opened that door and tell him I’m in the middle of something?” Elli provided him with another solution, or in her case, it’s just her other way of evading Tom.

Adrian shook his head in disapproval, “Ignoring him all the time isn’t the best solution.”

“Let’s say I agree to talk with Tom today -”

Adrian raised his finger, cutting Elli in the middle of her sentence, “No conditional. You have to sort things out with Tom today. No more running. Because as much as I love your little antique, I don’t want to see my girl speaks gibberish while pacing around at her flat and my place too.”

“And here I think you find me adorable when I talk nonsense.”

“I do. It’s just sometimes they’re a bit much, dear,” Adrian answered.

The knocking against the flat’s door prevented Elli from saying anymore arguments against her boyfriend. Railing with frustration, Elli stood up from her seat, inching towards the entrance to her flat. Adrian was back on his fee, ready to give Elli and her best friend some alone time.

“It’s my cue to leave then,” Adrian sauntered towards the door after giving Elli a light peck on her cheek.

Noticing each other presence, the two men simply shared a cordial nod that felt a little too formal in Elli’s eyes. Even they attended Eton at the same year and played rugby together, those years were long behind them so now they were no more than a casual acquaintance.

“Elli,” that velvety voice greeted her.

With a nod of her head, Elli dared herself to respond, “Tom.”

Scratching his ears, Tom said shyly, “I went to Emma’s place and asked her to make fish and chips for you. Mum’s recipe, of course,” Tom showed her the white plastic bag that he’s been holding before setting them aside on the kitchen counter.

Her mouth remained closed, contemplating whether or not she should talk to this so-called best friend today. In the middle of her observation, she saw the bruise and that tiny cut near his lips. Apparently someone has been giving him all the punches, much to her vexation.

"You’re my childhood friend, Ells. And when you’re starting to ignore me it means you’re truly pissed at me. That’s one of the fundamental laws in our friendship,” Tom chuckled to himself, hoping it would light up the mood around them, “Therefore I’m here to apologise. I’m sorry for being such a dick, Ells."

Elli wrapped her arms around her body. She watched closely as Tom enunciated each word without blinking. His sincerity chased her anger away and once again she hated to prove those around her right. Tom would always be her weakness.

"Granted my mind was not in their right place but still you don't deserve those words and I shouldn't have said all those vile things to you. You’re my best friend, the one who's been there with me this whole time. Do you forgive me, Ells?" Tom was pleading, looking at her through his eyelashes.

Biting back her frustrated groan for her lack of ability to resist him, Elli gritted her teeth, "Who came over to your place? Who encouraged you to go to my flat?"

For Tom, this was the first time he smiled from ear to ear in weeks, "Nicholas is the answer to your first question. Well, the answer for your second question is Emma – of course she told me to come here after chastising me for what I’ve said to you.”

"Remind me to thank your sister because you are way out of line this time, Tom. Michael is my boss and the reason why I left my job is because of you," Something wasn’t right when she said that, it’s like there was a pang on her chest. Elli quickly revised her statement. "It’s because of you and the others. I missed out so many things. That's why I decided to stay in London. God knows how many things I've missed when I'm working with Michael."

With his smile still plastered across his face, Tom called out, "Not to mention you hate flying too, Ells."

"I despise them, Tom," people would call her a hypocrite if Elli said she didn’t enjoy this time with Tom.

"So, are we still friend or not?" Tom still had the courage to test his luck.

Shaking her head, Elli teased him, "Frankly I want to cut off all my ties with you but I don't think I can do that."

"Remember what Amy said on her wedding day?"

"Which one?" Elli attempted to hide her smile.

Bowing his head so he was on eye level with his childhood friend, Tom suggested, "The one when I almost lost Nick's wedding ring and you frantically tried to cover my ass while I went to look for it.”

"How can I forget that? You almost blew up their wedding,” Elli was tittering with laughter now.

Shaking his head, Tom reminded of her role during that entire fiasco, "You weren't much help either, Ells."

"You know I'm the most terrible liar, Tom!"

Sharing a laugh with someone never felt so good and for him this was one of those moments. Being with Elli was a mental note for him that between his careers as one of the most sought after actors, his life hasn’t changed much. "I count on you and yet you said I was locked inside a restroom."

Trying to control her breathing because of all the laughter she has been having, Elli added. "Then they checked every restroom to search for you.”

Clicking his tongue, Tom suggested, "I should have given you the scenario beforehand."

"It might help but it won't change the fact I can't do poker face. Remember what Amy said after that whole fiasco?"

"The Man Upstairs chose to create two of the most idiot person."

"And let them befriend each other,” Elli finished his sentence.

That exchange led both of them to an uncontrollable laughing fit until Tom had to take a seat on one of the kitchen stools to steady himself. Meanwhile Elli clutched her stomach after over-exerting her abdominal muscle, being back on speaking term with Tom does that to her.

"Did Emma give you a hard time before making those fish and chips?" Elli asked as she passed by the kitchen counter where Tom put down his gift before.

"She did,” Tom nodded his head.

Elli opened up her fridge, taking out a can of coke then handed it over to Tom, "Please tell me she is the one who punched you."

Tom answered nonchalantly, "It's all Nick’s handy work."

"That’s not surprising,” Elli muttered, followed with a soft chuckle.

Turning his head, his forehead crinkled as he didn’t see Elli around, "Don’t you feel hungry, Ells?”

“I just had my dinner with Adrian. Feel free to have a bite or I’ll just reheat them tomorrow morning,” Coming near him, Elli brought some cotton swab and a bottle of antiseptic with her. “Silly, isn’t it? Jeremy Irons slapped you with regal rings on his fingers then you got nothing on your face. Not even a bruise.”

Once again, Tom couldn’t help but to smile at her, “Actually that wasn’t that bad. We rehearsed that scene before.”

Maneuvering around him, Elli stood in front him. After dabbing the cotton swab with the antiseptic, Elli managed to say, “Be still, Tom.”

Tom followed her order. As Elli began pressed the cotton swab gently against the cut, Tom made a reference to the last time Elli swashed his face with alcohol. That one event that led to their cold war, “Is that vodka?”

The nerve of this guy made Elli wanted to roll her eyes again for the umpteenth times that day, “I’m more of a wine girl.”

Hearing her answer, his lips curled up, forming a tiny smile yet real smile that reached into his blue orbs. Bringing the light back to them.

“All done, Thomas. Tell the production team for The Night Manager to film the scene where they beat you up first, Tom. It’ll save a lot of budget,” Elli tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears.

Smoothing out the non-apparent line on his trousers, Tom was back on his full height. He stretched out his hands, pulling Elli closer to his body, and enveloping the now surprised woman with his hug. He breathed out. “It’s great to have you back, Ells.”

Hearing those words, Elli tensed up. They were supposed to not mean a thing to her, yet they went straight to that heavily guarded door inside her heart. The door that should have been burnt years ago but kept on existing until now. Elli pushed those feelings aside, forcing her mouth to open up and give a reply to her friend.

Elli’s sole response was muffled against his chest, “Likewise, Tom. Likewise.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was back to normal between Elli and her friends - at least as normal as it could be. Especially with Tom in the picture, normalcy seemed too farfetched to happen and would never stay too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for neglecting this story for more than two months. The muse just won't talk. But now they're back and hope you're still there to read. Happy reading :D

Soon after Elli stepped inside the Hackburn’s household, a little girl ran towards her and hugged her legs tighly, "Auntie Elli!"

Crouching down, Elli hugged her godchildren back, "Hello, Amanda. You missed me?"

“I do, Auntie Elli. I do! Look at my dress,” Amanda did a little spin, letting the skirt of her dress twirled around her. Elli admired the lightness of the fabric as well as its light blue colour and that tiny crystal sewn into it to add some sparkle.

“This reminds me of Cinderella. You look like a princess. Did your mum take you to watch that movie?”

Amanda nodded, agreeing with her aunt, “I know. This dress is pretty. I love this,” but then she shook her head, “Not mummy. I was with Uncle Tom and Aunt Emma!”

“Where were your mum and dad that day?”

“I don’t know but I heard Auntie Emma spoke about a date,” she then shut her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing as if trying to recall something in her mind, “And talking about sibling.”

If Elli didn’t see Amy and Carla approaching them, she swore she would have guffawed at Amanda’s story. Her cousin had to know about this.

"Amanda, your aunt just arrived. Let her breath for a second."

The 6 year-old turned her head towards her mother, "She is breathing!"

Hearing Amanda’s reply, Elli clamped her hand on her mouth to stop her from giggling.

Amy also couldn’t help but to smile at her daughter. She caressed her ebony hair, identical with her own hair and Adrian. "I know but you have to let her sit first. And you should change your dress. You know that’s not finished yet, young lady."

With a pout, Amanda left the three adults alone. Seeing now her daughter has gone back to her room, Amy led the other ladies to the patio, facing her backyard. Tea and various cakes already served on the table.

"She is bright,” commented Carla as she took her seat.

"That's my gene,” Amy proclaimed.

"Maybe you should a little more discreet about how you and Nick talked when she was around,” Elli said, barely in control of her laughter now.

"Did I miss something?" Amy asked in confusion, after plopping a biscuit into her mouth.

"Just your daughter being her honest self. I praised her about that lovely flower girl dress and comparing the dress to Cinderella. She said Tom and Emma took her to see Cinderella, not you and Nick. She may have said something about a date and a word about little baby.”

Amy nearly choked on her scone. Carla helped her by pouring a cup of tea, pushing the cup in front of her.

"Shite."

"Is that true? You're planning another child?" Carla focused her attention to the house owner.

Amy took a sip from her cup then added, "No. Nicholas and I agreed that one child is enough. It was just a date night. When both of you have your own kids you'll know what I mean."

Adding a splash of milk to her tea, Carla’s lips curled up into a tiny smile, “I will keep you two updated from The Big Apple.”

Elli chose to keep mum on this topic. For all she knew, she still had a long way to go to reach that stage in her relationship with Adrian, "Where will you live? Flat? Or is it a house?"

"Lucas already found a lovely apartment just around the corner from NYU. Right now, we’re still renovating. But then when the time comes we'll move into a bigger place."

"I'll try to visit you. God knows it's been years since the last time I'm there!" Amy chirped in.

“I’m good here, at home. I’ve travelled enough during my time working for Michael. Besides, I’m going to France soon.”

“Roland Garros?” Carla faced her, eager for more information from this one friend that could be way too reclusive sometimes.

“And watch Novak once again defeated by the clay? No chance in hell,” Watching her outburst, the other two women just laughed and shook their head. Elli’s admiration for that Serb was a common knowledge among her friends. It also one of the many reasons she always tried to stay away from Nicholas and Tom during every tennis tournaments. Those boys loved to taunt her, especially every time Novak did not make it into the final. “It’s for Cannes.”

Carla’s face fell when she heard Elli mentioned that film festival at French Riviera, “So, Tom is not coming then.”

“To Cannes or to your wedding? There’s a pretty good chance of him coming to Cannes since one of his movies is in the competition there. And regarding your wedding, I think it all depends on his filming schedule. Last time I heard he’ll be filming outside of England.”

“I still hope he can make it though,” Carla wished.

“I will try to ask him, but I can’t promise you anything, Carla.”

"Stop talking about Hiddleston. THe is having a ping pong tournament with Adrian and Benedict as we speak - so much for promising me to take care of Amanda while we’re busy with this dress fitting. How about you, Elli?" Complaining about her husband was pretty much useless, Amy diverted the topic away.

Did not expecting this kind of attention on her, Elli nearly choked on her tea, "Me?"

Amy sighed, putting down her tea cup back to its saucer. "First, you can tell us about your relationship with Adrian. And maybe you can start talking about your mother. It is not healthy to keep everything to yourself, Ells.”

“Amy is right. You can talk about anything. You just talk and we will listen,” the only blonde on the table did not miss a beat in this little talk.

“Since I can no longer avoid this talk, here we go. I had a lunch with Adrian’s parents last weekend. And before you two jump into any conclusions, I’m telling you it’s nothing special. It’s a monthly thing that’s been going on since Adrian and I began dating. But now with me working here in London, it’s becoming a more regular thing. It used to be a bit sporadic when I was still working with Michael.”

Finished with her story, Elli lifted her head. However, seeing the amazement, combined with disbelief, across the other women’s faces, Elli felt like she wanted to retract everything she just said. That’s why she didn’t feel like sharing this piece of information with anyone. People had that tendency to read too much into things – this moment was just one of the many examples. Elli did her best to not to think of it too much. For her, his family was the reminder of what would happen if her dad chose to stay with her and her mother. She’d like to think maybe her mother would not be ill; maybe they would be able to see past their difference and be a lovely couple like Adrian’s parents. Or that thought that occurred every time Adrian’s sister was home, that maybe she would have a little brother, little sister, or maybe both if her dad did not leave.

“That piece of information is huge, Elli,” Carla responded.

Munching on another scone, Elli muttered, “Maybe.”

“Carla is right though, Ells. I didn’t meet Nick’s parents until we talked about starting a family,” Amy retorted.

“Amy, don’t compare me to you and Nicholas. You guys tied the knot in what, huh? After dating for 6 months? Or was it less than six?”

Giggling, Amy did not deny Elli’s accusation, “I have to admit Nick and I took things faster than usual.”

Shrugging the responses she got, Elli moved along to speak about her mother, “Then on Sunday we went to the nursing home to see my mum. She is good – as good as she can be. At least she remembers I went to Manchester, not Cambridge this time. And she remembers Adrian is my boyfriend,” Elli paused, as if preparing her listeners for the bad news, “But then she asked about your pregnancy and how’s Tom and Carla.”

Curiosity took the best of her as Carla found herself with another question, “What did you tell her?”

“Of course I told her the truth. That you broke up with Tom and getting married soon with Lucas, then moving to New York. Also I told her Amanda is 6 year-old now.”

“Did she take that well?” the blonde woman still have more pressing questions.

“She just shrugged it off. Still way better than her hysterics whenever she remembers her husband.”

“Okay, ladies, I have to stop it there before it gets way too emotional. Let’s not forget the main reason why we’re all here today.”

Carla slapped her forehead for letting herself got carried away by Elli’s rare story time, “Fitting for the bridesmaid dress. You’ll love this, Ells.”

The former ballerina stood up, making a little run towards the spare bedroom where all the dresses for the bridesmaids were stored. The dresses with different length and style were hanging but all in the same colour – pistachio green. Elli could see each dress already has a name label as Carla browsed through them, searching for Elli’s dress.

Pulling down the one-shoulder dress from the hanger, Carla squealed, “This one is yours, Ells! Try this one out and let me know whether or not we should adjust the size.”

Stripping off her usual working dress, Elli then put on her dress. Carla took a closer look at her, scrutinizing every detail as if she was a designer and Elli was a mannequin wearing one of her prized design.

With her left hand resting on her hips and her other hand on her chin, Carla asked, “Do you like it? Do we have to adjust something?”

Standing in front of the full-length mirror, Elli turned her body, having a look at the dress from another angle, “I love the style and the colour. And no, I don’t think you have to make another adjustment.”

Carla let out her breath, chuckling, “Thank God! Amy said I’ve been too anxious with this whole wedding preparation thing. And now to hear you like them – feels like a seal of approval.”

“Like I said before, Amy is different. Although her wedding is not a big one, but it was carefully planned to every single detail. She and Nick make such a deadly team, they can get things done with a snap of their fingers,” Elli gave her a knowing look and Carla laughed harder in return. The memory of that wedding still fresh in their memories. No wedding planner needed, Amy was in charge along with Nicholas as her forever loyal henchman. It was such an intimate affair for the two of them. And Carla obviously wanted the same route for her wedding - only hers would be a bigger one since she would be combining her wedding with her farewell party.

“I told you to hire a wedding planner,” Amy returned with little Amanda on her tow.

“And I told you I don’t trust people easily.”

“They’re professional,” Amy asserted.

“I know. But I trust you more, Amy,” Carla winked at her.

Completely oblivious to that exchange between the adults, Amanda beamed at Elli who was more than ready to change back to her casual outfit, “Whoah! Auntie Elli, you are pretty!”

“You think so? Do you want to wear this dress too? Maybe you can ask Auntie Carla to order a tiny version of this dress for you,” Elli said to the little girl, smirking as the colour started to leave Carla’s face.

“No. Mine is better,” replied Amanda who was now already busy with the fabrics hanging from the dress.

Amused with that reaction, Elli nudged Amy on the ribs. “I see she got her brain from you while that confidence came from Nicholas.

“That confidence is a combination between me and Nick.”

“Nightmare,” Elli retorted. “Carla! Are we done here? Because I need to do some groceries then cook for dinner.”

“Sure. I am about to leave as well. We can head out together, Ells.”

Elli refused her offer swiftly, “No,” Afraid of having offended Carla, Elli apologised, “Sorry. If you drive me to my flat then you’ll be taking a detour, and I am sure you’re quite busy already today and rush hour traffic is not something you want to see today. Better you head home now while the traffic is calmer.”

Carla went along with her suggestion. Both of them bid their goodbye to Amy and her daughter before leaving the premise.

“Thank you, Elli. For changing your mind and decided to be one of my bridesmaids. It means a lot for me,” Carla turned, facing Elli one last time before entering her car.

Elli waved her hand nonchalantly, “Don’t be dramatic, Carla.”

“I am not. Maybe you don’t believe it but that that break-up still haunts me. It’s just ever since my break-up with Tom, I’m afraid if things will never be the same between us. I mean - I’ve lost Tom. I can’t deal with losing another friend of mine, Ells.”

Carla’s confession shook Elli to the core. She would never expect Carla to say those things out loud. To be honest, Elli would never bail out from her role as one of the bridesmaids. All the words she screamed at that café weeks ago happened on the spur of the moment. It was just because Elli watched how distraught Tom was and him lashing out on her the night before. The pang inside her chest was too palpable, her throat felt dry, all Elli could do now was pulled Carla into a warm hug. Carla hugged her back, letting out a string of laughter as she thanked her.

***

Elli collected her grocery bags from the cashier. Eager to be back to her flat, she quickly turned towards the exit door but a man voice suddenly stopped her movement, “Ells! We did not expect to see you here! Tom was just talking about you!”

Nick pointed to the actor who was currently waiting for him outside. Tom grinned, waving back to catch the attention of his two friends.

Stepping aside, Nick let Elli to make her way outside from the building, “Ladies first, Ells.”

“Nicholas said you’ve been talking about me, Tom,” Elli said after coming near him.

“Oh actually it’s a plan involving you, me, and Nick. Like the good old days.”

Elli was tempted to roll her eyes, “Don’t tell me it’s about Roland Garros. I’d rather die than sitting in the audience with you two.”

Done with his purchase, Nick finally joined the two, “I told you, Tom. Elli would never agree to go to the match with us.”

“Whose idea is that? Yours, Nick? Or is it your wife because there’s a mention of that clay court at your home too,” Elli shifted her attention to her cousin in-law.

Nick held up his hands, avoiding Elli’s allegation, “It was Tom’s version of fun.”

“We are coming to Cannes, and French Open will begin right after Cannes. We’ll be in the country anyway so why not. Nick can join us later at the match,” Tom explained his full plan.

“Tom,” Elli lowered her voice, closed to growling at him

Tom did not backing down. He kept on grinning, “Yes, Ells?”

“First, our schedule will be very different this time. I am no longer a personal assistant. I think I will be there for three days tops. Not even a week. Second, clay is not Novak’s place. If this is your dick move to make me cry in anguish then I’m going to talk to my boss to send someone else to Cannes.”

“I warned you she wouldn’t be happy about this trip, Tom,” Nick whispered intentionally louder.

“I heard Macbeth will be running for competition at Cannes too, Ells,” Tom stood on his ground, persuading Elli to go along with his charade.

“All the more reason to not be there.”

Now Tom gave her his best puppy look, pouting at her, pleading for her to join him at the French Riviera. Elli looked at Nick, begging for his help, but the dark-haired musician once again just shrugged off his shoulders.

Choosing to put the topic to rest, Elli fired another question at those two guys, “Why are you two here anyway? Amy said you are having a ping pong tournament with Ben as well.”

Tom was chortling with laughter, announcing his win, “As always, Ells. Your Tom is victorious.”

Hearing the pronoun he used to refer to their mutual friend; Elli narrowed her brown eyes at Nicholas. Nick being Nick just whistled mindlessly. Suddenly finding the passersby around them much more interesting than the interaction between two of his friends. Choosing not to make a fool of herself, Elli asked “And Benedict is the sore loser? Or is it Nicholas?”

Tom leaned down, whispering to Elli’s ears. A whisper that was too loud, imitating what Nicholas did, “It depends to whom you address the question, Ells. To save yourself from the confusion, I suggest you to follow me and call it a tie between those two. And to answer you previous question, I’m currently on my way to a meeting with my agent while Nick is about to head home.”

“I won’t hold you back any longer then,” Elli tightened her hold around her grocery bags, facing the opposite direction. But then something crossed her mind and she turned back to face Tom, “Oh before I forgot, Tom. I don’t know if it’s your sister …”

Striding towards the woman, Tom cut her off abruptly, “Emma? What’s with her, Ells?”

“Nothing. It’s just Amanda said you and Emma accompanied her to watch Cinderella and she might have heard something you spoke,” Elli bit back her smile.

Lowering his head, Tom searched for her eyes. And that moment Elli knew, keeping him in the dark was out of the option. Elli arched her eyebrows, challenging him to remember that day but all she got was his confused look. Seconds passed between them, Elli pushed him away. She was eager to drop the bomb now if Nick did not pick this moment to enter the conversation again.

“Okay, Thomas, what did you say in front of my daughter?”

Still deep in his thought, Tom looked back and forth between Elli and Nick before he snapped his fingers, successfully retrieving that piece of information from his mind, “Oh! I remember! Emma and I, we talked about you and Amy having a date, followed with a discussion of a possibility of a sibling for Amanda.”

“Bloody hell, Hiddleston!”

“It is not my fault if your daughter is so perceptive!”

Nick scratched the back of his neck, sensing his presence would be needed at home soon. Especially with her daughter probably already bombarding his wife with all kind of questions now, “I should go now. Really. My wife is probably cursing at my absence now. Bye, guys!” Waving his hand, Nick strolled to where his car was parked. But not without giving one last wink at Elli, in which Elli just shook her head at his juvenile attitude.

Being left together with Elli now, Tom noticed her hands were full with her groceries and decided to offer his help, “You want me to carry your groceries home, Ells?”

“No. I do this almost every day, Tom,” Without realizing, Elli was close to clutching the brown bags, making her afraid the veggies might be squashed as well. “Other times, it will be just Adrian buying something then we’ll cook.”

Tom mumbled under his breath, “I see. Good for you two.”

If Elli did not know better, she believed Tom was a little despondent. But she was positive in one thing, dropping her boyfriend’s name was not something she did at random. Tom’s gravitas was still much stronger than what she’s been anticipating all these years, fearing it would remind her of all those things she used to yearn.

“Tom, I have one more question,” Elli dared herself to delve into this sensitive topic.

Her hesitation worried him. Tom inched closer, “What is it?”

“Carla still wants you to come to the wedding.”

Maybe her words only added more salt to the wound, or maybe it slashed it open again. Elli did not know for real because of his stoic expression – maybe he had mastered the trick of controlling them after years working as an actor.

“I will,” was his response. Simple yet final.

“Good to know. I’ll tell Carla.”

“Okay, let’s do this the old-fashioned way,” Tom offered up his pinky finger, grinning at Elli’s amused look, “Your pinky, Ells. Come on!”

“I, Thomas William Hiddleston, promise to come to Carla’s wedding and I will be at my best behaviour,” Tom said his promise just like what both of them used to do when they were still kid.

Shifting her grocery bag on her left hand, Elli followed Tom with her own promise, smiling cheekily at him, “I, Elli Johana Lane, promise to watch over this handsome friend of mine.”

Finished with the swear, Elli pulled away her pinky finger which currently still entwining with Tom much longer finger but he curled his finger around hers tighter. Elli stared open-mouthed at him, didn’t expecting his reaction.

“And she also promises to watch a match at Roland Garros after she finished her duty at Cannes.”

Before Elli could react, Tom released her pinky and dashed to the Tube station. His laughter could be heard in the distance. Elli just stood there, staring as his figure blending in with the people. With Tom, something would just remain the same. He did not get cast as the God of Mischief for no reason.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying true to his words, Tom came to Carla's wedding. After finally having his closure, Tom had a heart-to-heart conversation with Elli and discovered something he missed all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for the long wait, it's just these two are much more difficult to deal with. It's a short chapter but hopefully it's worth the wait. Happy reading!

“Everything’s good, Elli?” Michael grinned as he gulped down his soda – just perfect to quench his thirst after such an adrenaline-inducing activity.

For a second, Elli didn’t answer his question. She sat on the bench, wondering how she was still alive. Her heart was beating way too fast and she was sure she was close to having a heart attack, “Honestly? I can strangle you to death right now. You put my life on danger, Fassbender!”

“Don’t blame me, Lane. You’re the one who volunteered to be on the passenger seat. You know the risk.”

“I worked as your assistant long enough to know that you were doing that shit on purpose. That was beyond your usual speed, Fassbender,” Elli hissed at Michael. Her soda can was clutched tightly around her grasp, contemplating whether to crush the can or throw it instead at Michael so his grin could disappear from his face for a while.

“I don’t know, Elli. I’ve been pretty busy for a while so thank you for pointing that out.”

“Why do I have to take that job offer from you years ago? I should have rejected that. Or maybe it’d be better if I cut all my ties from you," Elli whined. Her head still spinning after accompanying this man doing another lap on the track. Out of all activities to be enjoyed on his downtime, Elli could scarcely fathom Michael’s liking for driving. Driving was okay if you do it within the speed limit, but with Michael took it to another level. He enjoyed the thrill that came from the speed – a bit much, if Elli might add.

“Empty threat, Ells,” Michael said in a sing-song voice, “You count me as your friend.”

“I certainly do not!”

Accustomed to her sharp tongue, Michael simply brushed off her comment, “Ah, Ells. What brings you here anyway? Is it job or personal life?"

"Job is fine. You know how the industry is, fast-paced, unpredictable but I can handle that. Believe me it's a whole lot easier than handling you, Michael. Oh by the way, I am coming to Cannes."

"What a surprise," Michael quipped, earning him an eye roll from the media girl.

Elli decided to use this time as her chance to catch up with this Germany-bored actor, "Why aren't you in Los Angeles, Michael? Don't you have to finish that Steve Jobs biopic?"

"Shooting wrapped a week ago. Now I am enjoying my downtime before another round of film festival for Macbeth,” Michael informed her. After all Elli was no longer his personal assistant, meaning she had zero knowledge about his schedule now.

"You are going to be amazing in both roles. I can tell.”

"I just gave my best.”

"Speaking of it, how are you faring with your gadgets? Especially after being the lead role in the biopic about one of the greatest inventors of the 21st century."

"Same old, Ells. Still total rubbish. I am quite content with my iPhone 4. I have an iPad which I rarely use, my assistant use it more often and know how to deal with it better than I am. I do carry my computer with me when I am away on location."

"Windows?" Elli found this situation way too amusing for her.

"Yeah, Steve Jobs must be rolling in his grave knowing the actor who plays him is technologically inept and think Windows is more user friendly than iOS."

"You are one of a kind, Mikey," Elli nudged Michael’s shoulder, teasing him.

“So do you, Lane. Now answer my question.”

“Catching up with old friends. What else? Why do you must think I have an ulterior motif?”

“You are not being yourself. It’s pretty jarring to me, Lane,” Michael answered with a shrug.

Elli ran her fingers through her dark hair, “Oh goodness, not this again. I thought we’re past this. Why you must torture me so much?”

After taking another chug from his can, Michael pointed his finger at Elli, “That behaviour means there's something more. Always."

Elli inhaled deeply. As always, Michael saw beneath her pretense, "Time flies, really. Carla's wedding is coming up next weekend. I still remember her asking me to be her bridesmaid last November," Elli stared into the distance. Carla wasn't really asking her, she was pleading for her to be her bridesmaids. Carla said she wanted to make amend for the pain she had caused her. That day, it was clear to Elli that she wasn’t that good at hiding her own feelings.

"Do you need my help to arrange a hen's do for Carla? Sorry to say that I can't be the stripper. I'll only do that for your hen's do," Michael winked at her and Elli wanted nothing more to slap him. Consequences be damned.

"People already know what you're hiding underneath your clothes, Fassbender,” Elli referred to his role on Shame that required him to go full-frontal.

"Believe me seeing it live would be a whole new experience," Seeing Elli’s murderous look, Michael was tittering with laughter.

"You can't cancel your RSVP,” Michael said once he finished laughing.

"I want to come really. Despite everything, she's still my friend."

"This is going to take an interesting turn.”

Hearing his smug reply, Elli could only muster a groan.

"Do you really think I'll stop, Lane?" And Michael, well being himself, just wouldn’t stop teasing Elli. Maybe he should add it to his CV soon.

"I’ve tried to stop you before but it didn’t work at all," Elli sounded defeated.

"Good!" Michael clapped his hand. He enjoyed the process of listening and giving advice to his former assistant immensely. Working and sharing your personal life with someone will do that and it's clear that he is her confidante, "If you really want to be there then what's bothering you? Do you need a date because Adrian is off in another business trip to Chicago?"

"Adrian will come. He had cleared his schedule for next week. I am feeling nervous and I don't know why. It's not my first bridesmaid duty nor is it the first wedding I've ever attended. But I am anxious, like you know something is bound to happen but you can't figure it out what it is."

Michael clucked his tongue. It doesn’t take a genius to solve this problem.

"Your other friend, the bride’s ex, is coming to the wedding so you have every right to be antsy.”

“It’s not like Tom is going to stop the wedding. He had accepted the fact that Carla doesn’t belong with him. It’s a slow process but he is moving on,” Elli talked more to convince her that despite her worry, everything would turn out to be okay.

“Inviting your ex to your own wedding? What could go wrong?” Michael retorted.

“You’re not helping, Michael.”

“I am being realistic here, Lane. If something happened, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Michael flashed his toothy grin.

Elli hoisted her satchel bag over her shoulder, “Can you drive me to the nearest to tube station? I need to finish some work at the office before going home.”

“I can drive you to your office.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Elli wanted to shoot down Michael’s offer but Michael cut her off.

“Come on, Lane. I have nothing to do other than cleaning my flat. You can talk more about Carla’s wedding during our drive,” Michael paused and his smile crept over his face that screamed trouble, “Don’t forget I always do my best not only when I am working but also when it comes the time to annoy you.”

Michael dashed towards the door, but Elli caught up with him just moment before he reached the door. She punched his arm, causing Michael to yelp in surprise, “You are an arse, Fassbender!”

***

“Well, this wedding went down smoothly. Maybe if I got tired working as a lecturer I could be a wedding organizer,” Amy said as she approached Elli, sitting next to her boyfriend, waiting the dessert to be served.

“And Tom did come to this wedding. That’s very nice of him,” Amy added, watching Tom who was already surrounded by other guests, some who just realised there was a Hollywood actor among them. Tom, of course, mingling with the guests, laughing at their jokes, and politely declining to take personal picture – saying he didn’t want to steal the spotlight from the bride and the groom.

“He is doing well,” Elli followed Amy’s sight, staring at probably the most well-known person in the room.

“I know he sent his RSVP but somehow I always think he’d bail from this wedding and to be honest I don’t blame him if he did.”

“He is busy at the moment preparing for his next role and doing a bunch of other stuff so he said he can only come to the reception,” Elli explained the reason why Tom only showed up in Carla’s wedding reception that was held in Chelsea Physic Garden.

Suddenly having a say in this situation, Adrian said, “But he came alone. I half-expected him to come with a female companion on his side.”

With a subtle nod, Amy added, “Adrian isn’t wrong, Ells. Considering Tom is the actor, the popular one.”

“With his current lifestyle, he said it’s a bit difficult to maintain a relationship. He is almost nomadic these past years,” Elli’s sight never left Tom. Apparently Tom also noticed a group of people was watching him, in the midst of all the people surrounding him, he waved at Elli and the group.

“It is not that hard, Ells. Look at us,” Adrian gestured at the space between him and Elli. “I mean you still travel for work sometimes, and so do I. But we are still together. It’s not something that is out of the realm of possibility.”

“We are different than Tom and Carla,” Elli almost snapped at Adrian. Even just the thought of comparing their relationship with the one Tom used to have with Carla was enough to send shiver down her spine. She didn’t want it to happen to her OR to Adrian.

Looping his arm around her waist, Adrian then placed a kiss on Elli’s forehead, “Yes, we are, Ells.”

“By the way, have you seen Tom talked with Carla today?”Elli’s curiosity got the best of her.

“I have while you were occupied with my daughter and her lost ribbon. Those two were cordial. No screaming, no crying, no finger jabbing at one another. And of course no one has any suspicion about them – other than us and Nick. I don’t think the other bridesmaids or Carla’s family know that those two are much more than a mere acquaintance,” Amy spoke in a hushed tone, afraid someone might eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Good then.”

Elli tried to search for Tom again, only this time she saw the group of people had gone, back to their respective seats to enjoy their dessert as the waiters beginning to serve the chocolate soufflé. Meanwhile Tom was on his way, heading to the outside of the tent.

“Where the hell is he thinking he is going? He is going to miss dessert!” Amy was horrified by the idea Tom and his sweet tooth were going to miss dessert.

“I will look after him,” Elli faced Adrian. His arm was still resting around her hips.

“Because you don’t eat chocolate?” Adrian smiled at her, hoping it was enough to chase the worry inside her girlfriend’s head away.

“Yes and you can have mine.”

Elli giggled as Adrian gave a little peck on her cheek before lifting his arm, allowing Elli to go after her best friend. Navigating around the garden’s gravelly patch with her platform heels and floor-length bridesmaid dress was no easy feat, Elli wished she didn’t trip and ended up with a broken ankle. Thankfully Tom hadn’t gone far. He sat on the wooden bench, near the fountain at the centre of the garden.

Once she stood close enough to him, Elli teased, "Running away from chocolate souffle? It's so unlike you, Tom."

But Tom didn't respond to her, his fingers were busy fiddling with a lighter, a cigarette already hanging between his lips.

"I don't know you smoke," Elli stated as she snatched the cig away from his lips.

Expletives were on the tip of his tongue but Tom decided to not say a word about it. He sighed, “It's an old habbit – I started picking it up again after playing Hank. I am trying to quit again, if that'd put you at ease."

"I don't think they allowed you to smoke here either."

Elli took the empty spot next to Tom. This felt familiar. Both of them sitting next to each other, enjoying the brisk spring breeze as the sunshine began to disappear behind the horizon – like what they used to do in Oxford decades ago.

"She is in good hand now," Tom was the first to break the silence.

"She is. They're going to spend their honeymoon in Santorini before moving to New York."

"She has a big family,” Tom mused. His expression remained stoic.

“Not really. I’ve never met any of them before the wedding preparation but Carla has two siblings, just like you, so it’s actually not that big.”

“We never talked about it,” Tom whispered. His confession and his tone surprised Elli. It was as if he was disgusted by his own doing.

Ignoring the wide-eyed look that Elli was giving him now, Tom went on, “We were dating for almost two years but we never talked about her family. Of course, Carla knew about my family – after all it’s on the internet. But I never asked about her family.”

Despite treading on yet unknown water again, Elli did her best to reason with him, “Maybe she wasn’t ready to discuss it with you, Tom.”

“Or maybe that’s where the fault in our relationship lies. Maybe I was simply too focused on myself so there wasn’t enough room for Carla,” Tom stopped, looking for the perfect words to sum up his old relationship. He cringed, “It’s almost toxic and I was the poison, I was poisoning her. Her dream was shattered because of me.”

Elli was about to say another word to counter his argument, but Tom shut her out again, “Don’t tell me it’s the other way around, Elli. If only I realised that sooner, that incident wouldn’t happened.”

Sighing, Elli shook her head. She was torn. Part of her wished she could be just transported back inside the tent, chatting with other guests as they enjoyed their desserts. While the other part of her wanted to stay here, consoling her best friend as he moaned over his past mistake.

It crushed her to see Tom acting like this. Life molded us in a certain way, and Tom’s relationship with Carla changed him. Some people might have just heard whispers about it, but not Elli. She was there, watching it unfolding in front of her through every phone calls and texts.

Maybe his confession was the closure he needed. Elli took a deep breath before reaching for his hand that was resting on his knee, grasping it

“Human have that tendency to overlook things that are standing right in front of us and let the regret plaque us, haunt us.”

Something finally clicked inside his head as Tom uttered his next question with a shaky voice, “Have you been there, Ells?” Tom asked with a shaky voice.

Now that’s the one-million dollar question, isn’t it? Who doesn’t have regret in their life, right? We all had it at one point in our life and Elli was no exception. But did she let it haunt her?

“I have.”

“How did you do it?”

“If there’s one thing I learned from my parents is that you can’t change the past.”

Her mother never stopped crying when her husband left them, but it still didn’t make him go back to them. He was off to build the family he always wanted while Elli and her mother were forced to move to Germany to have a better life. Elli did cry when Tom told her he was dating Carla. It hurt but she didn’t blame Tom or Carla. Elli didn’t let her feelings to come on to – she conquered them because in the end, no matter how much tears you’ve shed, the past will remain unchanged.

Thinking about her childhood and the feelings she used to harbour towards Tom put Elli into a trance. She didn’t notice that their positions have been reversed because now Tom was the one grasping her hand. Shivering a little as she felt his cold palm. He couldn’t be nervous – it must have been the wind.

Elli gazed at Tom and found him looking at her with such intensity, never breaking the eye contact. His grasp tightened around her small hand, securing it on top of his thigh. She could feel he was inching closer, their noses grazing each other. She could feel his breath as his parted lips stopped inches from hers.

He gave this moment for her to decide, she could either closed her eyes and gave in to him or dashed back to enjoy the rest of the evening with her friends and other guests.

And of course option number two was more sensible as she yanked her hand away from his hold. Standing up, she staggered backward. Finding what almost happened between them was hard to believe. It was almost like a betrayal. Gone was her easiness whenever she was around Tom, now even the idea of being near him sounded repulsive.

It took seconds for Tom to recover from Elli’s rejection. He lifted his head, looking at her through his lashes, jaw slacked, his chest heaving. Before he had the chance to say something Elli turned on her heels, storming back to the inside of the tent.

She was greeted with Adrian and Amy. Together they enjoyed the piece of music Nick's playing. When Amy asked her how's Tom doing, Elli almost winced but all she gave was a nod off her head, praying to God that Amy wouldn't press her with more questions. And tonight the God didn’t disappoint her as Amy put the topic about the Etonian to rest.

For the rest of the evening, staying away from Tom was Elli’s latest mission. Confronting Tom right now would only end up in an argument between them. And when you wanted to win arguing against someone who had a double-first from Cambridge, you better come well-prepared. So right now it’s better for Elli to avoid Tom because she was pretty much shaken after that almost kiss.

Only when it's time for the guests to leave and she was called to stand with the other bridesmaids, Elli had no other choice. Tom approached the group, politely exchanging hugs and kisses on their cheek before parting ways, Elli became even more agitated. She dreaded the moment when it's time for him to reach her.

"Good night, Elli,” was all Tom said to her. No hugs, no kisses. Just words.

"Night," Elli replied. It went down better than her expectation. At least she didn't squeak.

She let out a shaky breath, eager to call this day off. What she didn't realise was how Tom whirled around craning his neck and searched for her in the crowd behind him. He just unearthed something tonight and this time Tom refused to ignore it. There was something he just unearthed tonight, and Tom refused to leave it behind. He made that mistake once and he had no intention to repeat it.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuck in French Riviera, Elli stumbled upon Tom who was involved in Cannes' debauchery. How will she react and how long will she be able to maintain her facade?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to make a slight edit. In this story, High Rise was being shown at Cannes. This chapter is also slightly NSFW. Enjoy reading and do tell me what you think! Cheers!

“Elli Lane, Brencomm. I am with Recorded Picture Company and Studio Canal,” Elli flashed her ID to the security before boarding the yacht.

When she thought her new job won't required her to travel to another country, and yet here she is. Another year, another season, another festival, the same old routine. Already on board on the yacht where the party is being thrown by the sponsors.

It’s Cannes, early summer in the middle of the French Riviera. It’s the beginning of the festival circuit. It's where film maker, actors and directors alike, presented their projects. Hoping to catch some attention and make it to the finish line, the Oscars. 

But it's not all business in the French Riviera. When you work hard, you have to play even harder. Along with the premieres, those A-listers had to attend fundraiser and gala dinner. But let's not forget about the parties. It's where the fun began, they said.

The sun was still high but many of them were already holding a glass of champagne in their hands. Some laughing at each other due to the amount of alcohol circulating in their system. Others were socialising, extending their connection for future projects.

At least this time around Elli could try to blend in and didn’t have to watch for a particular Irish.

“Lane,” Elli heard someone called her and she knew well to whom that voice belongs to.

Someone who is going to burst her little bubble. Elli replied with a small nod, acknowledging his presence, “Mr. Windsor.”

Luke hitched his eyebrows, then that baritone voice spoke, “Such attitude, Lane.”

“Let me just be honest with you, Luke, you’re not exactly someone I’d like to see right now. Can we just enjoy this party?” Her brown eyes searched for the crowd. She had to be careful, in case someone decided to approach his publicist in this unfortunate time.

Luke put both his hands up in mock surrender, “I just want to congratulate you, Lane. You nailed it again! Handling not only one, but three movies at once.”

“I always give my job my best shot.”

“Carol, Macbeth, and High Rise,” Luke drawled on the last title he mentioned.

“What’s with that tone, Luke? Did I do something wrong? After all, your client is the lead in that movie.”

“Not at all. Like I said before, I would like to thank you. Without you, I am sure High Rise would still be without distributor.”

Luke wasn’t wrong. High Rise wasn’t a typical movie you’d like to see with you family on a weekend. Both of them knew that. Without a proper representation, this movie would end up in the gutter. It’s Elli’s job to address that and save it. She had to create an image for that movie so the crowd had the right image in their head. Considering its lead, crafting it wasn't easy. After all, he is one of the brightest actors in the industry right now. He already reprised his role as the God of Mischief for third times. He also had a legion of fans, in which some of them are new to this genre **.** To say Elli was grateful that her hard-work paid off in the end was an understatement.

“European soil is less prudish than the States, Luke. I wish you guys all the luck in the world if you want to get a US distributor.”

“We can agree on that, Elli. How’s Brencomm these days?” Luke attempted to start a small talk between them.

Elli stared wide-eyed at the publicist. There’s something peculiar about Luke’s attitude today. Every time they crossed path, they were hostile towards each other. She can deny it all she wants but Luke knows there’s something going on between her and his client. In Luke's world, Elli could either be his client’s saving grace or his downfall.

“You want to talk about one of your clients, Luke.”

“Do I?” Luke retorted, leaning on the bulwark.

“Don’t play coy, Luke. It doesn’t suit you.”

His lips curled up. For a moment, Elli thought the publicist might smile at her – it was the closest to a smile, if Elli ever saw one, “What can I say? I am not the actor, Elli. And you’re exceptionally rude today.”

“There’s nothing new about it, Luke. This is exactly how we’ve been behaving around each other,” Elli crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“You know he is here, Lane.”

“Unfortunately yes,” Elli huffed. Elli had seen him boarding the yacht earlier today with his blonde costar. His costar was all over him even before the waiters began to serve the food.

Luke continued to press Elli with more questions. He was hell-bent on finding out what happened at the wedding, “What did he do? His mood has been pretty foul since that wedding. Please tell me he didn’t do something stupid.”

But Elli wasn’t one to give in to Luke’s pestering, “It is not my place to tell you about it. Ask him yourself, Luke. I believe he has a mouth of his own. Although, I think his mouth is rather busy at the moment with Sienna.”

Now it’s time for Luke to groan, “He keeps on evading that topic.”

Having been in a similar position before, Elli felt for him so she decided not to let Luke hang in the balance, “Then it depends, Luke.”

“Depends on what?”

“It depends on your definition of stupid."

Elli grabbed a glass of champagne from a nearby tray, taking a quick sip of the liquor. Waiting for Luke’s move, Elli quirked her eyebrow but instead of hearing another words from him, Luke left her with an exasperated sigh.

Elli hated the fact that despite all the glitz and glamour, she was alone. She was at a disadvantage. If he found her and decided to corner her, she would be defenseless.

By each passing second, Elli was growing wary of her surroundings. Lucky for her, it didn’t take long for her to spot another familiar figure in this sea of strangers.

Already on her way to approach him, Elli shouted his name, "Michael!"

Upon hearing his name, Michael ceased his conversation. Focusing his attention to the brunette who was milling about the deck, Michael welcomed her, "Elli! I didn't know you would come to this party."

"I don't want to but my boss forced me. You have no idea how thrilled I am to see someone I know," Much to Michael’s surprise, Elli pulled him into a hug.

"You know what? This is rather awkward,” He mumbled, patting Elli on the back.

"Hush, Michael,” Elli shot him down. “Show me that your Oscars nomination means something by pretending to be happy meeting me here."

"Whatever you said, Elli."

When someone tapped on her shoulder, Elli untangled herself from Michael in a flash. After being on a state of constant vigilance for the past hours, Elli shrieked. Almost too loud as the bystanders turned their heads to see what’s going on.

"Elli Lane?"

A recognisable French lilt which sounded almost as shock as her spoke up and Elli realised who it was. Clad in her colourful stripey Dior jumpsuit, it was Lady Macbeth herself, Marion Cotillard.

"Oh my God, I am sorry, Marion! It’s just – you startled me. It's nice seeing you here! Your homeland is stunning as usual. I love your dress too! I hope Michael doesn't give you much trouble,” Elli was rambling, humiliating herself.

Marion smiled at her, hoping it’d put Elli at ease, "It's nice to see you here too. As for Michael, well he is being Michael. But Michael told me you’ve quitted your job, who are you working for now? Not everyone has the invitation to this party."

"Yes. I'm a media relations specialist for Brencomm now. Studio Canal and RPC appointed us for this festival. Terrific work as Lady Macbeth, Marion."

"You give her a compliment but I got nothing?" Michael chirped in, pouting like a school boy.

"Oh Michael," Marion slapped his arm, reprimanding him.

Acting nonchalant, Michael responded, "What, Marion? I am just asking."

Michael can be such a child sometimes, "Great job as usual, Fassbender. McAvoy taught you that Scottish accent?"

"Well, we had a discussion – once or twice."

"He taught you well."

"I'm a fast learner, Elli,” Michael added. Elli couldn’t agree more. His perseverance when it came to learning for his role was magnificent.

Nibbling a canapé, Marion joined their conversation again.

"We were talking about High Rise earlier. Michael said you're friend with Tom Hiddleston."

"He did?” Elli shot dagger at Michael but he merely shrugged, draining the remaining of his champagne glass in one gulp, “We are childhood friend."

"I did a scene with him in Midnight in Paris. He was F Scott. Fitzgerald but in High Rise, that’s a whole new level. His portrayal of Laing’s detachment and persona are astonishing, so glad we have the time to watch that. Can you tell him that?" Marion beamed, clasping her hands, pleading at Elli to be her messenger.

"Marion, that man is a social butterfly which means you’ll have no problem with telling him that in person,” Elli wished none of them caught how her icy tone just now.

Michael’s hand snuck into the inside of his suit jacket, fishing out a cigarette. But before he got the chance to light his cigarette, Marion protested against his habit.

"Ugh, Michael, you're not allowed to smoke around me. Go somewhere else!"

Michael offered a quick apologise, stepping away from Marion and her death glare.

"Oops, I am sorry, Marion. Care to join me, Elli?"

_Away from the crowd_. Elli won’t let that opportunity came to pass. Together, they headed to the second deck. Michael lighted his cig, “It is better up here.”

“Yes, it is more quiet,” Or was it just another excuse for Elli to avoid her other friend, she wasn’t sure either.

Taking a puff of his cigar, Michael blew the smoke before turning his attention to Elli, “You know what, Elli? You look like you can have a smoke too. If you want it, do not hesitate to ask.”

“No thanks. I am used to people smoking around me by now. Should I thank you?” Elli scoffed at his offer.

“Maybe. But to be fair, you rarely around when I smoke, Elli. When you do, something must be up.”

Elli rolled her eyes. His observation skill was a curse for her, “Very perceptive, Michael. But I’d rather to not talk about it.”

“Do you want to enjoy the silence? Fine by me,” Michael dragged on his cigarette. If she didn’t want to talk about what’s going on in her life then Michael appreciated it.

Breaking the silence, Elli asked, “What’s next for you, Michael?”

“I plan to make a short stop at Monaco for the Grand Prix. After that I’ll have to attend more festivals for Macbeth and Steve Jobs. Then started shooting Assassin’s Creed,” Michael replied, his cig still hanging loosely between his lips.

Both reveled in the rare moment of peace as the breeze caressed their faces. Dropping her gaze to the sea below, Elli starred onto the blue water that reminded her of a pair of eyes that belonged to someone she's been avoiding.

But soon their silence was disrupted by a loud clanking sound and a girl screaming in horror. Michael craned his neck, curious to what's the commotion is all about while Elli sighed.

"She must be new."

"What do you mean, Elli?"

"That’s a normal reaction of a new waiter at Cannes after seeing her fist scandal. Poor soul," Catching sight of the shell-shocked waiter by the stateroom’s door, Elli moved toward the scene. She had to handle this right now. Less scandal meant more peace for her.

Putting her hand on the waiter’s shoulder, Elli said, “I know you're shocked but I need you to head back to the pantry now and tell your boss what you just saw. Can you do that?"

The waiter gave a week nod as an affirmation. Standing wobbly at first, she then sauntered back to the pantry. But nothing would prepare Elli when she whirled around to see what kind of scandal awaited her now.

Sprawled on the king size bed of the stateroom, there was a man with two ladies. They were completely unaware to the fact that someone was watching them now. One of the ladies was riding him. Elli could hear the indecent sound of their skin slapping against each other every time she brought her hips down to meet the man's thrust. While the other lady was moaning as the man's face was buried on her mound, pleasuring her with his tongue.

But before Elli had the chance to tell them that party was over, one of the ladies cried out as she reached her peak. As the lady removed herself from his mouth and brought her lips to his, and the light shone upon the man’s chiseled figure that made Elli rooted to her spot as those three continued their lecherous activity. It was brief but it was enough for Elli to identify him. She has known that face since she was a girl.

In the middle of his kiss, he unbucked his hips, much to the other girl delight, and a name rolled out from his lips. It's a short gasp but resonating inside the stateroom, made it clear for Elli to listen.

" _Oh Ells_."

She should have listened to her heart and left them alone. Her body was numb, operating in auto-pilot. Elli pulled her phone out from her clutch and dialed the Public Eye's director number.

"Luke. It's Lane, you have to come to the second deck now. You have a situation."

Soon enough, Luke arrived at the scene. It took him almost one full minute to process what was going on in front of his eyes. Seeing the publicist was there now to handle his client, Elli decided it’s time to flee from the party - ignoring a worried call from Michael to stay a little longer. No, she had had enough and she was going to lose her sanity if she stayed one second longer in this party.

***

Sitting in front of her computer, her intention was to catching up with her jobs but instead of doing it, Elli was close to smash her keyboard. Her brain won’t cooperate. The image of her so-called friend in bed with those women was burned onto her retinas. And his voice, those two words were playing like a broken record inside her head.

When someone hammered on her hotel door, Elli snarled. It took all her willpower not to throw her laptop against the door and told that person to get lost. Going against it, Elli decided to give that person a minute to stop barging on her door. A minute passed by – this time her iPhone’s screen lighted up with a string of message from Michael.

**Knock. Knock. Knock. Elli Lane.**

Even his text is annoying, causing Elli to groan.

**I am outside your door. Open up, I know you’re inside.**

Of course he knew, he must have tipped the front office or something.

**I’m not leaving until you open this door.**

Another text. Apparently it’s Michael, not the Etonian, who was going to corner her.

**I mean it, Lane. Consider this as an ultimatum.**

Elli starred at the ceiling, wondering if his persistence could kill her someday.

**But if you want another scandal, feel free to ignore me. I’m sure you can imagine what the headline would look like tomorrow morning ;)**

That’s her last straw. Dropping her iPhone onto the table, Elli rushed to the door, yanking it open. Michael greeted her with his toothy grin, paying no heed to Elli’s vexation.

“What do you want?”

Michael answered her with another question, “What are you doing, Elli?”

“Finishing my job for the day – or at least I try to do so.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay? Good? Peachy? I don’t know, Michael. What do you want to hear?”

“That’s supposed to be my question. What do you want to hear?” Michael repeated Elli’s question, enunciating each words.

“Do you want some news about your friend?”

“Do I look like I want to hear that?” Elli spat at him. Maybe she had to stab Michael so that man would shut up and leave her alome.

“Yes, you do. Relax, Elli. The crisis had been averted. I don’t even hear a word about it during the party. Besides, he chose a secluded place to execute his action!”

Wandering around her room, Michael found the bottle he was looking for, sniffing the liquor before pouring a glass for himself.

“You could use another drink, Elli,” Michael said after drinking his wine. He put back the glass on the table, along with Elli’s work stuff. “I am here to listen."

"What makes you think I want to talk with you, Michael?"

He turned to see his former assistant, sitting cross legged on her bed, glaring at his presence. That was Elli in her defensive mode and she needed someone to tell her about the harsh reality.

"Firstly, you're avoiding him. You didn't even mention his name during our conversation with Marion. That's not a normal thing for you to do, Elli. Secondly, I don't think you have shared this story with Amy or her husband either. You’ve been neglecting your work which is the perfect indicator for your stress level. In conclusion, you're not the Elli Lane I know. Or do I have to present you with more evidence? "

Rubbing her eyes, Elli heaved out a sigh, "No. You're right.”

"Where's Adrian?" His tone softened up, casting a nervous glance at Elli.

Seeing Michael’s concern, Elli groaned, "He is at his headquarter in Chicago – there’s a monthly meeting. He took the flight on the same day as I was. We are fine, Michael.”

Michael let out his breath, relieved that his speculation was proven wrong, "Before we dive into the real problem, I'm glad you and Adrian are still going strong – especially with the constant travelling."

Nodding her head in agreement, Elli admitted, "It's not easy, Michael, but when there's a will there's a way. You can work it out.”

"You can't force it – I know. I've learnt about it the hard way,” Michael flashed a bitter smile, recalling his distant memory, “Back to you, Elli. What's wrong?"

"Everything? Oh God, that sounds pathetic,” Her hands were covering her face. She wouldn’t be able to bare her mortification after she shared this news with Michael, “He kissed me."

"Who? Adrian? Or was it me? No offense but I don’t remember kissing you.”

As usual, Michael teased her and he did it a marvelous job with it. Elli screeched, "Oh Michael! Why are you so adamant on me saying his name?"

"Because you have to stop being childish! So, Tom kissed you and you kissed him back?"

"No! He tried to kiss me," Elli quickly retracted her former statement.

Her statement stunned Michael for a brief moment. He had to hold back his grin if he still wanted to make it back to his hotel in one piece.

“Tom kissed you. So what’s the problem? It’s just a kiss. You two have been friend since you were young.”

At this point, Elli didn’t know if Michael was playing dumb or he was just that thick, “It’d be okay if he gave me a quick peck on my cheek. However, that day he aimed for my lips.”

“Oh so that’s the root of this problem!” Michael whistled. Honestly, he was impressed with Tom’s bold move. Testing Elli’s patience was fun until you pushed her too far. But still it didn’t stop his tendency to torment her, “Is he a good kisser, Lane?”

“He tried. I pushed him away before our lips made contact.”

“Wait! You’re pissed because he tried to kiss you? That’s weird,” Michael’s face scrunched up in confusion. He decided to give Elli a different scenario, “What if I was the one who tried to kiss you, Lane? What would you do?”

Elli didn’t miss a beat. She answered it straightaway, “Slap you. If you insisted, I’d punch you dick. Shame.”

Michael and Elli couldn’t help but to burst into laughter at her untimely pun.

“I got a slap while you only pushed him away and left him be? Unscathed? That’s not fair,” Michael clucked his tongue in disapproval, “I really don’t see what’s the fuss is all about, Elli. He didn’t kiss you. I supposed that’s a good thing, right?

“At first, I had the same thought but then there’s a voice in the back of my head. This voice called me as a hypocrite for rejecting his kiss. And the more I think about it, I realised that voice was right, there’s a part of me that wanted that kiss to happen. I want to know what it feels like to be kissed by Tom,” the tremble on her voice was apparent.

Michael couldn’t forget that day when Elli raided his liquor stash. Too bad, the only liquor in her room was the wine on her working table. She needed something stronger than that tonight. Handing over the wine bottle to Elli, she snatched it from his hand, drinking it straight from the bottle.

"That's not wrong. You were pining for him. For how long? Five years? That's a very long time, Lane,” Michael tried to reason with her.

“I hate myself for wanting him. Yes, after everything, I still want him. He wasn’t even mine to begin with but I want him and its killing me,” Elli bellowed. She was near to tear her hairs out. Her tears trickled down her cheeks.

Elli sobbed, releasing that repressed emotion in front of Michael, “I shouldn’t have come to his house that day after Carla handed out her wedding invitation. I should’ve cut all our ties at the first place. Burn our friendship”

It’s not often Michael saw Elli cried and when he did, it had something to do with her best friend or her mother, “But you can’t.”

“Yes! I can’t and it’s torturing me! Every time I see it, I can feel it. That little butterfly, that little rush. That almost kiss. It’s creeping over me. You know what the pinnacle of this thing is. I was thinking about Adrian. Wondering what would happen if I was no longer with him.”

Her words sent shivers down her spine. She was not ready to face those possibilities – or even to think about it.

Sitting on the side of her bed, Michael advised her. Maybe she would listen and hang on to his words.

“Don’t make a decision in haste, Lane. It’ll only do more harm than good. You could end up hurting both sides.”

“It’s a conditional.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that your mind went there. Now it’s time for less thinking and more talk, Elli. Thinking won’t work now – especially with the drink you had. Let’s move on to what happened on that yacht. You caught him in the middle of a not-so-discreet activity with those hookers. A _ménage à trois_ in _Côte d_ _'_ _Azur_. How original. I am starting to like Hiddleston. I think we can be friend, don’t you think so?” Michael grinned as he laid down the event that took place earlier that day, the one that caused Elli to lock up herself in her hotel room.

Grumbling under her breath, Elli flung a pillow at Michael, “Oh shut up, Mikey! You had a threesome on screen!”

Michael dodged the pillow with ease, putting it on his laps. Seeing how Elli pouted her lips, Michael was chortling with laughter, “A choreographed one. I’m sure the real one would be different. It’s sex, Lane. Everyone does that. You do that, I do that. Nothing to be ashamed of! Don’t be lewd. You weren’t the one in the sheet with Tom.”

Elli took a deep breath before blurting out the last bit of information with Michael, “When he was tangled in bed with those girls, he said my name.”

As Elli told him before, Ells was reserved for her dear ones. For Michael, he would always call her Elli or Lane.

“Was it Elli or Ells?”

Elli glance at him, “You know which, Michael.”

“Jesus, he had seen the light."

Elli had another gulp from the bottle. It was her desperate measure to shake off Michael's words.

"It's all up to you now, Elli. But as your friend, I have to tell you that your reaction so far wasn’t helping. It only adds fuel to the fire,” When Elli was about to throw more argument between them, Michael raised his hand.

"You attitude says the lady doth protest too much. To hell with your dignity! If it’s the right thing to do, do it. Tell him off, confront him, or pretend like nothing happened between the two of you."

Taking in Michael’s suggestions, Elli contemplated her next course of action. But her mind was already too hazy tonight. Her body felt so light, she bet she would pass out soon. Not a good time to make a decision – maybe some other time.

"Are you going to Monaco alone?"

Taken a back with her question, Michael tilted his head to get a better look at the woman, "James said he's going to meet me there. Why? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think I need to stay away from London,” Elli answered with a shrug.

"You are on the run, Elli.”

"I promised Tom to go to Roland Garros with him and Nick," Elli ran her hands over her tear-stricken face. It was all so aggravating and she can’t see him with this state of mind. It’d only make matter worse.

"Breaking your promise? That’s so unlike you.”

Elli was without words for a second, hesitated as the memory from their childhood, their lost years, rushing back to her mind. "Tom and I – we’ve done this to each other multiple times."

Stretching her legs, Elli nudged on Michael’s thigh. He questioned her act with a raise of his eyebrow, prompting Elli to kick him harder.

“It’s the wine talking. I am drowsy. I want to sleep. Go back to your hotel and good night, Michael.”

Elli plopped herself on her pillow, hugging another one that was just being returned by Michael. Back on his feet, Michael spoke, “Night, Elli. Do text me when will you arrive at Monaco.”

“In your wildest dream, Michael,” Elli murmured. Her response caused Michael to chuckle lowly. Between Roland Garros or Monaco, Michael was sure of one thing, that woman would not attend any of those events because Elli Lane will sequester herself for a little while.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and Elli had to deal with the repercussions after what happened in Cannes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for neglecting this story. They have been very quiet lately but with this update I hope to end the drought with these two. Enjoy your reading and comment will always appreciated!

“Elli, you haven’t told me about what happened in Cannes.”

Adrian’s words rang loud and clear in Elli’s ears making her to stop typing on her laptop. She then gazed at her boyfriend, questioning him in silence. It was useless since she knew very well what Adrian was talking about. Maybe if she could buy her some more time, Adrian would forget about it.

Adrian sighed before reaching out for her. He elaborated his earlier statement, “Your workload -- I get it. But something wasn’t right with Cannes. You came back early.”

That she did. Elli didn’t even go to Monaco like she promised Michael. Thank God, her old boss seemed to understand her decision.

“I have finished my job so I don’t see the point of me hanging around there a day longer.”

“You told me you are going to the French Open with Tom and Nick,” Adrian kept his eyes on her, observing her movement.

Elli must not winced as she hasn’t told Adrian the full story of what happened in the French Riviera. Keeping her pensive expression, Elli struggled to come up with a proper explanation, “Well, I do not see the point of attending Roland Garros. Those two will end up teasing me for Djokovic’s lost.”

“You are used to that and the clay is not Djokovic’s best,” Adrian reminded Elli of her favourite tennis player’s weakness. True to his words, this year Djokovic failed to come out as the winner of the championship – again.

“Adrian, what are you insinuating now?”

“What happened between you and Tom at Cannes?”

“Why everything has to deal with him?”

“Not everything. Only when you are getting hackle up, Ells.”

Elli didn’t know which one was to blame, her awful skill when it comes to lying or the perceptiveness of people around her. Nevertheless, she shut her laptop and approached her boyfriend who was already lounging on the bed.

Climbing the bed, Elli sat cross-legged next to Adrian. She hastened. Her body rocked back and forth, “Tom and I – we fight.”

“That’s very enlightening, darling,” Adrian responded to her confession as he moved closer to Elli.

“Just promise me one thing,” Elli turned around so she was face to face with Adrian, “If I tell you the full story, don’t be mad at me.”

Adrian acquiesced to her request, “I always appreciate your honesty.”

After one sharp intake of breath, Elli spoke in a lightning speed, “Icaughthiminthemiddleofthereesomeandhecalledmynameashecame.”

Under a different circumstance, Adrian would have burst into a laughter but now, with how dire the situation is, he rubbed Elli’s shoulder, “Ells, calm down.”

“I witnessed him fucking two women in Cannes. In the middle of industry party, on the yacht, and he uttered my name,” Elli repeated. Slower, this time.

“You saw your childhood friend having a threesome. You were shell-shocked, maybe you misheard.”

Elli swiftly shook her head. That was only the second part of the story. She was about to flying blind now, having no clue how Adrian would react to the next revelation.

“During Carla’s wedding, you and Amy told me to go after Tom. He was distraught, to say the least. But in the end, he accepted that Carla has moved on and found someone else. We talked for a bit, then he tried to kiss me.”

Tilting her head, Elli gauged for Adrian’s reaction. However, her confession left him speechless. His eyes were no longer focused on her as he let the information sink in.

“I did not kiss him.” Elli attempted to diffuse the tension.

”I was so mad at him and ended up avoiding him until I saw him again in Cannes.”

“Why?” Adrian cleared his throat, continuing to speak, “Why don’t you let Tom kiss you?”

Incredulity was written all over Elli’s face as she explained the reason of the situation that had transpired between Tom and her.

“It’s because I am with you. You are my boyfriend while he is _just_ my friend.”

“Ells,” Adrian whined. Yes, he did and that act was so unlike him.

“Yes?” Elli whispered back. Not knowing what happened next, she hated feeling like this.

“Who is Tom to you? Why after everything that he had done you are still considering him as your friend?”

Perplexed, Elli froze on her spot. Not only his question had caught her off-guard, but it also forced her to reminisce her time with Tom. Their friendship dated way back to her childhood in Oxford. Too young to understand the meaning of all the shouting and the eerie silence in her house, Elli found a company in that young boy with curly blonde hair who lived just across the park. For children, it was just an innocent friendship. In fact, it took Elli years to realise the feeling she harbored towards Tom was more than that. Now the question is has it changed? Does Adrian know about it?

“I can’t cut all my ties with Tom.”

Can’t or won’t, when it comes to talking about Tom those two words were jumbled. Maybe she did not want to let him go, to see him on his own. Was it jealousy? Was she worried Tom would go off the rail once again?

“Yes, you can if you’re willing to do it. You simply refuse to do that,” Adrian never complained about her connection with Tom before. Never. Not even once.

“You’re right. I don’t want to stand on the sideline while my friend lost himself all over again,” Elli sighed in resignation, wanted nothing more than to put an end to this argument.

“I’m aware of the connection you shared with Tom. But, I am only human, Ells, and I am not going to lie with you anymore. Every time I push you to look after Tom, I have my doubt. There’s this darkness inside of me that makes me thinking that you won’t coming back to me.”

Truth to be told, after Tom ended his relationship with Carla, he was her priority. For one simple, he listened to no one other than Elli Lane. And Elli was no idiot either, she could tell that situation sometimes put Adrian in an uncomfortable situation. Although, he never addressed this issue before. At least, not until now.

“I don’t want you to feel that way, Adrian,” Elli said under her breath.

Adrian let out his breath, flashing his genial smile, reassuring her. It was not often for her to see Adrian’s vulnerable side, “I did my best to shut them off but it’s not working. Not after what you told me.”

“Would it make you feel better if I say I’m still ignoring him?”

“Are you sure?” Adrian looked up to her. His hand moved to tuck her errand locks that were coming off from her messy bun.

“Tom sent me a ticket to watch the Wimbledon final.”

“The one with Djokovic and Federer?”

Elli replied with a brief nod.

“You didn’t take it?”

“I did not. In fact, I burnt it.”

His flabbergasted look was priceless, making Elli to broke out in laughter. Adrian gape at his girlfriend who was now rolling in their bed, clutching her stomach as she continued howling with laughter. Soon after that, all of Adrian’s doubt dissolved into laughter as well.

Propping himself up on one elbow, Adrian said as he regained control of his breathing, “You burnt the ticket to the Wimbledon final! You are nuts, Elli Lane.”

Staring right into his eyes, Elli caressed his cheek, “But you love me.”

“Yes, I do,” Adrian breathed out, tackling her into the bed, earning a squeal from Elli, before capturing her lips with a slow yet intoxicating kiss.

***

“Smoking again, Hiddleston?” Benedict couldn’t contain his surprise when he saw Tom taking a puff on his cigarette. Even after Nick informed him about Tom’s behavior lately, to watch him smoke was bizarre. Knowing Tom wasn’t exactly a heavy smoker like him or Nick.

With his cig still hanging loosely between his lips, Tom turned his head to greet his fellow actor friend who asked him to accompany him to have a pint at this newly renovated rooftop bar in Soho.

“As a fellow smoker, you don’t have the right to judge, Benedict.”

Benedict clucked his tongue, correcting the blonde, “Correction. Former smoker.”

“Right. Married life changed people and you are no exception either, Cumberbatch. Anyway, why is Nick running late? It’s so unlike him.”

“Nick called me for a last minute cancellation. He said Amanda has a rehearsal tomorrow and he has to help her practicing,” Benedict replied nonchalantly.

Putting his cigarette back to its ashtray, Tom sighed, could no longer hide his agitation, “It’s just the two of us then.”

Something was bothering him and it was something huge. Definitely. This should be interesting. Benedict rubbed his hands together in glee, “Oh Thomas.”

“What?” Tom was offended with how Benedict seemed to be entertained by his current predicament.

“If you crave the company of the opposite sex, you can pick someone at the bar. You have the face, the bloody charm, honestly, it’s not _that_ difficult to do.”

Lifting his glass to his lips, taking a swig, Tom muttered, “Not interested.”

“If you say so. How’s Cannes?” Benedict decided to drop the topic and talking about Tom’s recent venture to the film festival.

“Stunning. I’ve been busy filming The Night Manager for BBC One though. I haven’t got the chance to see Hamlet.”

Ben waved his hand, dismissing his apology, “No problem. We’re already breaking record here and there even without you watching the show.”

“Getting cocky, aren’t you, Ben?”

“No, just pointing out the fact, dear friend.”

Tom leaned back into his seat. His eyes wandered to the scene around him, but nothing caught his attention. After throwing himself back to work, moving from Switzerland to Mallorca, being home in during his supposedly downtime before his next press tour was tedious. Not to mention, the row he currently had with his best friend, “I fucked up, Ben.”

Ben snorted upon hearing Tom’s confession, “Why am I not surprised?”

“Oh, trust me you will after I told you more of the story.”

“Okay,” Ben straightened himself up, commencing his interrogation session with Tom, “First question, how many girls you slept with at Cannes?”

Tom raised two of his slanted fingers, “Two.”

Benedict huffed. He wasn’t impressed with this revelation. Considering how Tom had been behaving since he lost Carla, this revelation was hardly surprising, “That wasn’t your first threesome.”

“Yes, I can confirm it was not my first. But I called out my best friend’s name when I came, that was definitely the first.”

“Your best friend? Please, please, tell me it is not me, Nick, or probably your lucky publicist, Luke. Please, Thomas, I beg of you,” Ben was snickering as he teased Tom who was now burying his face in his hands. Of course, Benedict knew who the friend Tom kept on referring to was. He was just couldn’t resist himself,

“It was Elli,” Tom groaned, fighting the urge to punch Benedict. Before Benedict managed to throw more words at him, Tom cut him off, “She walked in while I was in the bed with those women.”

Five minutes. That was the time needed by Benedict to process what Tom just said to him. Did Tom say he had a threesome then Elli walked in on him and those girls? And did he mention he called out Elli’s name when he came? If yes, then this night just took an interesting turn.

“Are you sure? I mean, maybe Elli didn’t hear you.”

Tom scoffed at the scenario, “Let’s see what happened after Cannes, shall we? She was supposed to go to French Open with me and Nick but she did not. I couldn’t reach her phone which isn’t normal. Her phone is always on standby, 24/7. I think she blocked my number. I went to her office to see her, but she told the front office that she wasn’t available. She could be busy, but I know she is avoiding. I should tell Elli to fire the girl at the front office because that girl has a terrible poker face. Oh and she refused the ticket to the Wimbledon final I gave her.”

“When a girl is avoiding you, then it’s bad. You have pissed her off.”

“You have been really helpful, Benedict,” Tom rolled his eyes.

“Who else know about this?”

“Aside from you, Elli, and those women, it’s Luke.”

Great. If Luke knew about this, then Benedict didn’t have to give Tom a pep talk. Ben was sure Luke was perfectly capable handling his client, “You didn’t tell Nick?”

“He would share it with his wife and I don’t want to risk it,” Tom shuddered at the thought of facing Amy’s wrath.

Benedict heaved out a sigh. When it came to understanding his heart, Tom took a really long time to do so. He worried for his friend. For all they knew, this could be too late.

“You want her.”

“I want Elli. I have wanted her all these years.”

“You’re just too much of an idiot to realise it, Tom.”

Once again, Tom groaned. The words that spewing from Benedict’s mouth were like a punch to his gut.

“Yeah, Tom, the truth hurts,” Benedict quipped as he saw the crestfallen look on Tom’s face.

“You know, Ben, I thought you’re going to be the sensible one here,” Tom whined, disappointed at how everyone seemed to leave him alone on his corner now.

Benedict glared at Tom’s petulant act. After a sharp intake of breath, he hissed. “Listen, Hiddleston.”

“Nick isn’t helping Amanda with her rehearsal tonight. Our meeting here was designed for the two of us only because Nick told me you were not yourself lately and he picked me to be the mediator. He needed someone who isn’t in the inner circle to talk you through, hence I’m the one who has to sit here and hearing you lamenting about your foolishness! Do you want to hear my thoughts? Stop playing victim! Drag your arse out there! Own up to your mistakes before it’s too late, Tom.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since Cannes, Elli has been avoiding Tom. But now as another film festival took place and people around her started to notice her strange demenour, Elli's life was about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this chapter but it's the plan ever since the beginning of this story. You'll either hate me or love me for this. Please let me know what you think! :D

“Ells! We heard you’re working overtime so Amanda and I decided to come for a visit!” Amy greeted her cousin as she pushed open the door to Elli’s office. Amanda was right behind her mother, skipping along the carpeted floor, climbing to Elli’s laps.

Instinctively, her arms wrapped around Amanda, then she landed a kiss on her cheek causing the girl to giggle, “Aww. I didn’t realise I missed you, sweet girl!”

“I missed you too, Auntie Elli! Daddy told me you always work and work and work. He said it is bad,” Amanda’s reply led Elli to cast a glance at Amy. The mother of one flashed her grin, not remotely sorry for surprising her.

“Is it? But if I work, I get money. If I get money, I can buy new dolls for you. Don’t you like new dolls?” Elli whispered to Amanda’s ear as if they were involved in some kind of conspiracy.

“Mummy won’t like it,” Amanda was still talking in whisper, trying to hide her laugh as her mother watched them with an amused look on her face.

“Mummy will like it if your Aunt Elli buy her some gifts as well,” Amy chirped into their conversation. “Besides, Amanda no longer wants a doll. Tell her what you want, Amanda.”

“Yes! Dolls are boring, Auntie Elli, I want a microscope,” Amanda furrowed her brow, determined to pronounce the word correctly.

This time it was Elli’s turn to look amused. She always thought Amanda as a younger version of Amy but her request just now cemented that believe. Amanda was the carbon copy of Amy, minus her blue eyes because she appeared to have inherited Nick’s green eyes.

“Have you been poisoning your own daughter, dear cousin?” Elli turned her head to face Amy whose face was now beaming like a proud mother she is.

“I did nothing, Ells!”

“Great, let’s blame it on the gene then.”

“Ells, what is happening at the other side of the world right now that forces you to work on the weekend?”

Elli grabbed the cup next to her laptop, checking its content only to see straight into its bottom. She had lost count of the amount of caffeine she had consumed these days, “It’s another film festival – Toronto, this time.”

“Ugh, time difference,” Amy shuddered as she realized that Toronto was five hours behind London. Then she remembered another trivial thing. “Oh by the way, Carla called me yesterday and she said she hasn’t started teaching at Julliard.”

“Hmm? Why is that? Is it something because of her broken ankle?”

“No, no, no, it’s not her injury. Carla has been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum,” Amy failed to hide her smile, clearly thrilled by the idea that soon her friend was going to have a baby.

“Carla is pregnant,” Elli said, more to herself, letting the information to sink into her head. “How far along is she?”

“She is still in her first trimester but with her condition it’s kinda hard to hide it. She is under order not to leave her house -- bed rest which makes her bored, and it leads her to call me.”

Nodding her head absentmindedly, Elli signaled Amy to follow her to the pantry. She had to get a refill for her cup. Amy, on the other hand, was a little hesitant to leave her daughter alone in Elli’s office.

“She is not going to break anything,” Elli commented once she noticed Amy’s doubt, grabbing her by the arm to the adjoining room. Amanda gave them a tiny wave, followed with a thumb up, promising to be on her best behavior.

“How are you, Ells? Do not lie to me,” Amy pressed her with question once they were alone.

Elli should have seen this coming. Sooner or later, someone would question her absence for the past months. Nick might be wise enough to keep his mouth shut, but the same thing didn’t apply to his wife. As Amy told her countless time before, blame it on her motherly instinct.

“I am good. I am working and I have a date tonight.”

“You don’t want to speak of what happened between you and Tom?”

Elli froze. How Amy knew about what happened since Carla’s wedding, Elli had some idea.

“He is with his co-star, if you haven’t noticed. He was photographed after a dinner with Elizabeth Olsen,” Elli intoned as she rummaged through the cabinet to get her caffeine fix.

“They are not dating.”

“You are not the one working in the show business, Amy. You don’t know a shit about this,” Having difficulty tearing open her instant coffee, Elli cursed at how shaky her hands were.

Amy snatched the instant coffee away from her hand. Instead of helping Elli opening the package, she threw it away. Elli glared at her, demanding for an explanation.

“I understand that you’re busy, Elli. But considering how twitchy your hands are and how restless you are, I think you have had enough caffeine for today,” Amy handed her a glass filled with water for Elli to rehydrate herself.

“Happy now?” Elli responded after she quenched her thirst due to her excessive caffeine intake -- that was supposed to be her seventh glass for the day.

“Ells, Tom is an arse. We all know that, it’s nothing new,” Amy earned a chuckle from Elli. After all he had done, calling Tom an arse was an understatement. “But you should check up on him.”

Leaning against the pristine counter, Elli sighed. Frustrated with her own indecisiveness, “Amy, the thing is I don’t know if I still be able to do that.”

“Oh, Elli.”

If you asked Elli who was the first person she told about the feeling she harboured toward Tom her answer would be Amy. Amy was like the sister she never had. She listened to the laugh, the silliness, and ultimately the tears when it comes to Tom.

But now, the situation was different. Those time had passed. They were adults, Elli couldn’t keep on holding onto her old feeling.

“It’s time, Amy. I have to put a distance between myself and Tom. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Inhaling deeply, Amy could not bear to keep Elli in the dark anymore, “Ells, do you want to know the real reason why I am here with Amanda?”

_No, I don’t want to hear it. Nothing good would come up from it._ Elli choked back her response, “Why?”

“Amanda insisted on seeing you today because, according to her, you’re sad. When I asked her who told her that, she said it was Uncle Tom.”

Stuttering, Elli couldn’t believe what she just heard, “What?”

“It appears that he called Nick and ask my husband to let him talk with Amanda. He sang to her, he told her a story. You know Tom. That man is good with that kind of stuff. He is worried about you, Ells. You didn’t return any of his call,” Amy spoke more careful this time around, gauging her cousin’s reaction.

“Please, don’t force me, Amy,” Elli came close to beg for Amy to stop dragging Tom into their conversation.

Taking a step back, Amy put both her hands up, “I won’t do that, Ells. If that’s what you’re going to do then I support your decision.

“But I think now is time for lunch. How about some fish and chips?” Amy suggested as the clock almost struck mid-afternoon.

Elli couldn’t help but to smirk at Amy’s suggestion, “Are you trying to bribe me?”

Already stepping outside the pantry, Amy shouted back, “I know it’ll boost your mood. Besides, I’m afraid Amanda will break something in your office if we left her unattended for one more minute.”

***

“You have outdone yourself this time around, Adrian,” After the scrumptious fillet mignon he prepared for their dinner date, he deserved the praise.

“Make sure you thank Gordon Ramsay when you get the chance to see him,” Adrian replied with a wink.

“Is it Gordon now? I remember you used to watch Jamie Oliver on YouTube.”

“Did I do something wrong? Should I follow Heston’s footstep instead?”

His question prompted Elli’s smile to break into a laughter. Don’t get her wrong, she adored Adrian’s hobby to spend his time in the kitchen to relief his stress after spending long hours in the office -- but to imitate Heston’s cooking and his intricate molecular gastronomy technique was beyond Adrian’s capability.

“Gordon Ramsay’s fillet mignon is your highest level of achievement. I'm not sure you can top that.”

Laughing along his girlfriend, Adrian stood up to come near her. He offered his right hand, asking Elli to dance with him. Her eyebrows raised, questioning this gesture from Adrian, but she took his offer nonetheless.

Elli wounded her arm around his hips, following his footstep as they danced along to Westlife’s I Wanna Grow Old With You. This was very sweet of him, Elli thought.

“Do you remember where we met, Ells?” Adrian whispered. His hand rested on the small of her back

“At a bar near Dorchester,” Elli smiled fondly at the memory. It happened four years ago, in fact, tonight is their anniversary.

Returning her smile, Adrian said, “You were drunk that night.”

“I am most certainly not. Just a bit tipsy which can be considered as great especially after I spent almost 11 hours flying coach with a 34 year-old manchild. Horrifying,” Elli giggled before burying her face on Adrian’s chest.

“You never like flying.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I think airplane is one of mankind’s greatest inventions but it doesn’t make me feel safe.”

“You told me that day in the middle of your drunken,” Elli narrowed her eyes when she heard the word that Aidan used, so Adrian quickly corrected himself, “In the middle of your tipsy stupor.”

“You still remember that. How about this one? Do you remember your first impression of me?”

Adrian was keeping mum for a second, “I think you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever met, and no, that hasn’t changed. I still stand by that statement. Independent and confident, but a little lonely. It made me wonder what’s going on inside this woman’s head so I decided to talk with her. Even she tried to shoot me down at first.”

“Do you remember how long I tried to ignore your calls and texts?”

“Two weeks before you agreed to have a dinner with me. Who should I thank for that?” It was not a secret between them that Elli was reluctant to come to that dinner with him at Cote four years ago.

“Michael and Tom. Amy helped, too,” Elli admitted. Of course, she still remembered how Michael teased her relentlessly about her meeting a guy at a bar then Michael was also the one who forced her to call Tom who was in Sydney, gearing up for Thor premiere. While Amy threatened her to drag her into Cote by herself.

“And before you asked, no, I never regret my decision to come to Cote. Not after I found someone like you, Adrian,”

Gazing at Adrian, Elli waited for him to throw some comment at her but his mouth remained shut. Their hips swayed from side to side, in sync with the tune from the speaker. She rested her head on Adrian’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and finding comfort in it. He was her safe haven, her home when things turned ugly. Even when the distance kept them apart, Adrian was always there to support her, to be her shoulder to cry on.

“I love you, Elli Lane. I always do and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Adrian confessed. He stopped their dancing. His hand dived into the pocket of his trousers to retrieve the blue velvet box that he has been hiding for weeks from Elli. The moment she laid her eyes on that small box, Elli swore her breath stopped.

Adrian let out the question that has been plaguing his mind, haunting his sleep as he revealed the channel-set platinum ring with the round diamond in the middle of it, “Elli Lane, will you marry me?”

Elli was stunned. Words failed her now, for all she could do now was to nod her head eagerly. Tears already streaming down her face as Adrian slipped the ring onto her finger.

Adrian’s worries melt away as he grinned at her. He kissed the ring that now rested on her finger before his lips descended upon hers. For the remaining of the night, there was no more verbal exchange between those two souls. As naked as they were on their born day, they were tangled in bed to worship each other bodies. When the pleasure crashed over them, the words that spilled from their mouths were each other’s names.

Fresh from their love making session, Elli snuggled closer to Adrian, his arm wrapped around her naked waist. Soon afterwards, sleep took over their consciousness. But it didn’t last long for Elli. Her iPhone was vibrating on their nightstand. Elli stifled her groan. This must be someone from Toronto. With the festival up and running, Elli should have prepared herself for a late night call from across the Atlantic.

Thank God, Adrian was a heavy sleeper. Elli had no problem extracting herself from his hold. Once she was free and decently clothed, Elli checked on her iPhone to see the message she received.

**Lane, you know I hate to do this but he needs you. Please, I know what happened in Cannes, please, for the love of God, return his call. L. Windsor.**

Elli wasn’t a heartless person. She understood how miserable Luke is at this moment. Tom had two movies premiering at Toronto. Both were highly anticipated but sometimes with high anticipation comes disappointment. Even when the critics were praising Tom’s performance of Hank, they butchered the movie, and High-Rise wasn’t exactly a crowd favourite either.

Elli could guess what’s going on at their hotel room in Toronto now. Tom was probably drinking himself to oblivion. He must be disappointed. He always said he’s proud of the work he had done, but deep inside he wanted the people, the fans, to get immerse in the movie as well.

Leaving the bedroom, Elli moved to the living room, plopping down to the couch. She rubbed her hand over her face before dialing Tom’s number.

He picked it up upon the first ring, “Ells, is this really you?”

Elli nodded her head sagely. His defeated voice made her heart ached, “Yes, Thomas. You’re not dreaming.”

“I am so sorry, Ells. I’m sorry. I need you, Ells. They don’t like my movie. They think I am crap. I am crap, Ells. I’m treating you like a piece of crap. I am so sorry, Ells. Don’t leave me again, please. Stay. Ells, I am so sorry.”

Elli was right, Tom was drunk and distraught. He was slurring his words, barely pausing between words. A sob could be heard as well. It felt like history was repeating itself. Elli closed her eyes, reminding herself that they couldn’t talk about this. Not now.

“We’ll talk about it when you’re back home and sober, Thomas. Sleep now, Tom,” Elli closed her eyes.

“Stay, Ells.”

I can’t, Tom. I am engaged now and soon I’ll be Elli Greenhow. You have to stop doing this. You and your gravitas can’t keep pulling me in, Tom. Please, don’t make it harder than it already is.

Her clutch around the phone tightened as Elli found her willpower to keep those words inside. Instead, all she could do before ending their phone call was as a lone tear rolled down her cheek, “Good night, Tom.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for anyone wondering about the ring, here it is http://www.tiffany.com.au/engagement/rings/the-tiffany-setting-with-diamond-band?origin=engagement&search_params=param+1001/2004/3001/0/5001/0#p+1-n+1000-c+-s+-r+-t+-ni+1-x+-pu+-f+false+1-lr+-hr+-ri+-mi+-pp+


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After accepting Adrian's proposal, Elli had to figure a way to break the news to her best friend before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, this time we have a fast update. I think this is the longest chapter to date and I am very proud of what I have written here, especially the last part (listening to Bad Romance really help). Things are about to heat up and please, please let me know what you think.

"Michael," Elli opened the door leading to Michael's flat carefully as not to startle the man inside. Trying to peer through the cleft, Elli was surprised to find he was not in the living room. In fact, the apartment was dark.

He was probably sleeping or burying himself under his scripts, he had the habit to forget the time whenever he was doing that, Elli concluded.

"You really should learn how to lock your door, Fassbender. I know you are home!"

She heard a groan followed with a hush sound, but that second sound was lighter, on a higher note -- more feminine.

Of course, that couldn't be Michael's voice as a slender figure emerged from Michael’s bedroom, greeting her as she leaned against the doorframe, "Well, long time no see, Miss Lane."

Elli remembered this woman - the woman Michael met during his holiday in Melbourne, the one who rejected him, the one who had her mark on him, and the woman who left him. Her name was Lilith Anderson. Elli could never forget her first encounter with Lilith. That woman pushed Michael to wake her up during a flight home from Los Angeles and beg for her to chase Lilith as soon as they landed on Heathrow, just for a chance to get Lilith’s contact. And frankly, Elli never saw Michael being that desperate.

"Don't be alarmed, Miss Lane. I'm just visiting my friend," Lilith was parading around the living room, collecting her belongings. Her hair spoke volume of what happened inside Michael’s bedroom before Elli’s arrival.

It appeared Lilith was getting the wrong message. It was not Elli’s intention to be hostile towards her. Elli answered with a cordial smile "I wasn't expecting you here.”

"I have to say the feeling is mutual. How are you? Michael told me you no longer work for him."

"Yes, I quit last year."

"Is he too much for you?"

"No, it’s not because of Michael. I have some personal issue," Elli spotted Michael was walking towards them.

Lilith averted her gaze to the same direction, she spoke under her breath.

"Well, he is quite something"

"Are you leaving, Lilith?" Michael asked groggily.

She nodded, "I'll take a cab back to my hotel. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Michael was about to agree with her but then his crestfallen expression was enough for Lilith to know he won’t be free tomorrow and just like her - Michael was gutted, "I have a meeting with Ridley tomorrow for the next Prometheus."

Lilith chuckled. It’s a truly miracle that they managed to make it this far. "Another goodbye, this is becoming our routine. See you, Michael."

Striding to catch up with her step as she headed towards the door, Michael grabbed her arm, pulling her into a deep kiss. Lilith sighed into the kiss, wishing this moment would last a little longer. When Lilith had closed the door, Michael turned his attention to his former assistant. The woman was fidgeting, her feet tapping against the hardwood impatiently. It wasn’t until Michael lied his eyes on her left ring finger, he understood the source of Elli’s trouble.

Michael let out a low whistle, “That’s one impressive ring. Do you reckon it’s time for some celebration? Should I pop open a bottle of champagne now?”

“Can we please talk about you first?”

“About me? What about me?”

Elli gave him a sideway glance, hoping it would be enough to wipe that grin off his face. But of course, Michael Fassbender would seize every available opportunity just to torment Elli.

With his grin still adorning his face, Michael answered, “You mean what’s going on between me and Lilith?”

“You sure have some explaining to do, Michael.”

“Lilith and I -- we are friend.”

“Friends don’t sleep with each other. Or do some heavy make out session, or whatever activity you were doing prior to my arrival. I swear to God, I asked Paula before I decided to come here. She told me you were home.”

Michael snickered at her choice of words, “Sleep? Make out? You're like the most conservative person I've ever known.”

Elli chose to ignore his remark and offered him her sincere apology, “I am so sorry, Michael."

She knew how difficult it was for Michael to earn Lilith’s trust back then in Melbourne. Lilith left him and Michael was broken. And if Elli was being honest, she never thought Michael and broken heart could exist in the same sentence.

“Lilith comes to me and I can’t say no to her. Sounds familiar?” Seeing Elli’s sour expression, Michael knew he had turned the table.

“No it doesn't.” Elli said more to herself, to convince the charade she had with her so-called childhood friend, “You're not in a relationship with her?”   
  
"It isn't something we seek. I think. Enough about me. I have to congratulate the future Mrs. Greenhow! You know, Elli, we should have spent more time apart. Things in your life tend to go on the fasttrack when we didn't see each other on daily basis."

Michael was unbelievably chipper tonight -- much to Elli’s annoyance.

"You mean you'll send me emojis more often? It's called texting not for nothing Michael. You're supposed to send me text, using alphabets. Not pictures that are just too hard for me to decipher!" Elli complained. Those time wasted every time she had to translate Michael’s choice of tiny picture to reply to her texts.

"We have to make use of that invention, Elli. You are engaged now! Jesus Christ!"

Elli didn't share Michael’s excitement. Instead of thanking him, Elli sauntered onto the couch, throwing herself on it. She buried her face into her palm.

"Please tell me this is the right thing, Michael."

"Adrian is the epitome of perfection. He's good looking, smart, well-educated, hard working, polite and fun individual. He can balance you out.”

Elli winced hearing Michael’s description of Adrian. "You make me look like a mess,”

“I believe the two of you will have a great family. Maybe a child, or children. Just promise me, you won’t teach them to call me Uncle Mikey,” Michael shuddered, imagining how his niece and nephew loved to use that moniker.

He added, “You can work it out. You always do."

"He is too good for me and look at me -- I might turn into a bad guy here!”

Michael could sense where this conversation was heading and didn’t miss a beat to ask her the next question. "Are you going to return the ring?"

Elli wasn’t ready with that question that just came out from Michael’s mouth, "No! Oh God. I don't know Michael! But wearing it doesn't make me feel less guilty than I already am."

"What about Tom?" Michael was blunt, straight-forward and certainly something that Elli needed tonight.

Elli was playing with her fingers, doubtful her boss-turned-friend would approve her decision,  "I asked them not to tell him about this engagement. Give me some time to figure out the way to break this news to him."

"You're too kind."

"What do you mean?"

Michael slouched next to her, shaking his head in disapproval, "He didn't wait to tell you when he dated Carla. He just did it. He didn't think twice about your feeling."

"It's different,” Elli attempted to back her argument.

"Yes, it is different because now it's been exposed. You know how he feels towards you now and you still carry that torch for him -- as much as you want to deny it."

"But now." She left her sentence hanging and stared at the diamond ring that’s been adorning her finger for weeks now."I have a fiance."

"I hope you understand the significance of that word, Elli.”

Michael waited for her reaction and again all Elli could do now was just to stare at her engagement ring. Everything was okay for now and it was only because she hasn’t seen Tom in months. Once she saw him again, even Elli was terrified to imagine the things that she could do.

Her lips quivering. Elli sighed, “I hate myself. I hate Tom.”

“I’m so fucking exhausted, Michael. I am tired of fighting the game that I can’t win. I see no point in all of this. And this,” Elli waved around her left hand, putting her engagement ring in the spotlight, “I love him. I love Adrian. If I don’t then I won’t maintain our relationship. I do not have the heart to hurt him, Michael.”

With that confession, Elli broke down. Tears ran down her cheek and soon she was sobbing. Michael pulled her closer, resting her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her shoulder in his attempt to comfort her.

“Are you sure you don’t want a drink?” Michael asked once Elli calmed down.

Elli retorted, “So I can sleep with you and forget about all my problem?”

“Not a good idea then,” Michael answered with a smirk, “Do you want to spend the night here?”

“Can I? I mean -- I have told Adrian that I won’t be home tonight.”

“And he didn’t protest?”

Elli snorted at his insinuation, “Please, Fassbender. I am immune to your face and he knows you.”

Michael hopped off from the couch and jogged to his bedroom. He returned with a blanket in his hands. His bachelor pod didn’t accommodate a guest. Elli, ever since her first time taking refuge in his flat, insisted to sleep on the couch and didn’t leave Michael with much room to argue.

Elli accepted the blanket. She lounged on the couch, pulling the blanket up to her neck. She had to ask this before Michael left her to his bedroom.

“Does that offer still stand?”

Michael tilted his head, knowing what she was talking about and her insistence. Once again Michael didn’t even try to stop her. No one could.

“I don’t recommend you to hide from them, Elli, but you can contact me whenever you want. So, yes, that offer still stands.”

***

Marching along the hallway of Rosewood Hotel, Elli picked up her pace. Someone was behind her and she knew exactly who that was. But she also realised there’s no way she could outrun someone who had a jog on Regent’s Park every morning.

“Ells, wait! Elli. We need to talk!” Tom reached for her upper arm as he caught up with her steps.

Elli stopped moving and turned around to face her best friend. Although she doubted if that label still applied for both of them.

“Yes, we do but at the moment I‘m finishing my job for the day and you have reporters waiting for you. They’re on the other side of this building, in case you’re lost,” Elli pointed to the area behind Tom, hoping he would leave her alone..

“They can wait,” His tone was firm and Elli was sure Tom wouldn’t let her go easily today.Out of all hotels that existed in London, why her client picked Rosewood to conduct this meeting, Elli had no idea.

“I assure you, Tom, I can wait, too.”

“I don’t have much time in London, Ells,” In fact, Tom just got back home from doing the European tour for Crimson Peak. He had a week in London before flying to New York then Nashville before heading to Hawaii to start shooting Skull Island.

“Like I said, I can wait. I’m used to waiting, Tom,” Her last sentence came across harsher that what she intended to. Elli winced, so did Tom but he masked it well.

“How are you, Tom?” Maybe if she played along, Tom soon would be facing those journalists about his latest gothic horror movie instead of cornering her. But maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t a pretense -- maybe Elli was truly concerned for his well-being.

“I’m great. How are you, Ells? It’s been a while.”

“Since Cannes, eh? You’re one busy bee, Tom.”

“Not since Cannes. Last time we talked it was during Toronto International Film Festival.”

Elli let out a dry laugh, probably it would be enough to mask her nervousness. Yes, of course, about that night. Her four year anniversary with Adrian, and the same night Adrian proposed to her that ended with her calling Tom. She hated herself for doing that but what she hated even more was how her left hand has been hiding inside her jeans pocket since she heard Tom running towards her. She wasn’t anywhere near ready to tell him about her engagement.

“I’m well, Tom,” Elli finally answered his question from earlier.

“Good, it’s nice to hear that, Ells. What are you doing here? Following Crimson Peak junket?”

This small talk wasn’t going anywhere. “No, I had a meeting with Studio Canal earlier.”

“Ah, I see,” Tom spied a room on his left side and someone left the door ajar. He then grabbed Elli by the arm, dragging her to the unoccupied room.

His action startled Elli, “What are you doing, Tom?” Elli wringed her arm from his hold, glaring at the Thesp.

Tom’s steely blue eyes met hers. “Like I said, we have to talk.”

“About what?”

“About us.”

Elli couldn’t help but to snort, “There’s no us to begin with, Tom.”

“You are my best friend.”

Elli remembered how much those two words used to hurt her. That pang in her heart that sometimes felt like a stab to her chest and made her cried herself to sleep. It appeared she still owned that title.

“You do not kiss your best friend on the lips, Tom.”

“I did not,” Tom dared to smile rather triumphantly at her.

Vexed with his attitude, Elli corrected herself, “You tried to kiss me at Carla’s wedding, Tom! I do not go to Cambridge but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

“You’re far from it,” Tom spoke. His expression softened up a bit before he closed the distance between them with his long strides, backing Elli up against the wall, trapping her. Tom knew it wasn’t fair but he had no idea what else to do. They had to sort thing out, whether she liked it or not.

“Tom,” Elli warned him. She sniffed the hot air coming from his breathing. Elli breathed a sigh of relief once she realised there’s no trace of alcohol there.

"Luke told me about that night in Cannes, Ells.”

"It's not his fondest memory, I bet."

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

"You can sleep with whoever you want. It's none of my concern,” Elli shrugged, doing her best to push that memory away. It still played like a broken record at the back of her head.

"I might be intoxicated but I remember every single detail of that night.

Dropping her gaze, Elli was losing her footing in this conversation. It was inevitable.

"Yes, including the name that I uttered,” Tom paused, gauging Elli’s reaction but the girl refused to look at him. "Your name, Ells."

"What are you insinuating?" Elli was almost too afraid to ask

Tom pressed her with yet another question, "If you said you no longer give a damn about me and my philandering then why are you avoiding me?"

"I've jobs to do. Rent to pay. Mother to take care of. Among other things."

"You're so hard on yourself, Ells."

"We are not kids anymore,” Elli intoned. The closeness between them was suffocating.

Tom quirked his brow, challenging Elli, "So, now I'm the childish one? Because I'm too late to realise what's been standing right in front of me?"

"And pray tell me, what is it?" Elli challenged him.

"You, Elli Lane. It's you. I'm sorry for being such an idiot and put you through so much pain while you've been there for me, every steps of the way,” His voice was an octave lower. If Elli didn’t know any better, it was close to purring

Here they were once again standing in the intersection, to build the future denying Tom’s existence or living the rest of her life with her friendship with Tom still intact. At this point, Elli didn’t know how she would manage to live with the second option.

People would berate her for this. For being the fool she always was. She could never said no to him and took herself back to square one.

No words were exchanged between them as they stood together in the room with such close proximity. They could feel each other breath and it felt like air was slowly sucked out from Elli’s lungs.

"Tom, what are we doing?" Elli sounded so frail. There was no way she could fight him.

"I'm not gonna back off, Ells."

"You're not being reasonable."

Tom raised his hand to brush off a strand of her hair, sending shiver down her spine.

"I don't want to make the same mistake, Ells."

"And you really think I’ll wait for you, Tom? Don't be absurd." Elli hoped Tom didn't hear how her heart was thundering inside her ribcage. She was desperate for a way out but the man made it impossible for her to escape.

Tom heaved out a sigh. He flashed her a smile before caressing Elli's cheek. So tender that Elli almost afraid she would be falling one more time -- or maybe she never truly climbed up from that rabbit hole.

"I'm not a quitter, Ells."

Elli closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. There was time when she longed for this but now she was having a hard time comprehending what's transpiring between them.

The silence between them was broken by her phone as her ringtone interrupted their moment. Elli did her best to put some distance between them, fumbling to fish out her phone from her jeans pocket. Remembering to use her right hand.

"Yes, I'm done. Are you at the lobby, darling? Okay, I'm on my way."

"I'm talking with Tom." Elli held his gaze and saw that smirk flattered disappearing from his face. Tom wasn’t pleased, that was certain but he stepped aside nonetheless, allowing her to leave the room.

"We are not finished yet, Ells," Tom grasped her hand as she passed him to exit the room and greet her fiance.

Inside her jeans pocket, her left hand fisted into a ball. Elli nodded. Resistance was futile, "I know, Tom."

***

Having spent too much time in her office and finally found this rare break right on the start of the fall film festivals, Elli decided to visit her mother in the nursing home. Approaching the receptionist, Elli was greeted by one of the young nurses there, Johanna.

"Miss Lane, I assume you're alone today?"

"Oh Johanna, I told you to stop calling me that -- Elli would be fine," Elli waved her hand around, dismissing Johanna’ greeting and flashing her engagement ring in the process.

“Congratulations, Miss Lane!” Johanna continued calling her with that formal title but was now squealing as she saw the 2.3 carat diamond ring on Elli’s finger, “Adrian certainly knew how to pick a ring!”

Elli stared at her ring for a moment before thanking Johanna, “Thank you and yes, I agree with you. This ring is pretty.”

“Is that why you rarely visit these past weeks? I only saw Adrian. Are you busy planning your wedding?”

Hearing Johanna’s assumption, Elli broke into a laughter, “Yes, I was busy but not with the wedding planning. My jobs took over pretty much my free time, thank God, Adrian was available to accompany my mum. Speaking of her, how’s my mother?”

"She's in good form today,” Johanna bowed down her head, searching for an information regarding Heidi’s health that were always recorded on the guest book.

”Oh, actually she has a visitor. It's written here. Hiddleston. Diana Hiddleston," Johanna read that name slowly, as if spelling it inside her head. Her face filled with the look of awe, recognition, and confusion at the same time.

"Yes, Johanna. It's the same Hiddleston, she is his mother."

"She visits often. I heard other nurses talking. Sometimes she's alone or with her son. I envy those who have met her son. Heard he's quite a charmer."

Elli nodded. It was not a secret that sometimes Tom came with her mother to see Diana. She hoped today would be different.

“Then I’ll best get going then. I’ll talk to you later, Johanna,” Elli excused herself as she headed to the garden at the back of the premise. According to Johanna, her mother was there chatting with Diana over a cup of tea. And Johanna was right, the two women were talking animatedly. Elli smiled once she observed how her mother seemed to laughing over something that Diana just told her. Today was one of the better days.

Diana spotted her first and Elli walked faster towards them. When Elli was within her reach, the woman Elli considered as her second mother rose from her seat and pulled Elli into a hug before kissing both of her cheeks.

Once Diana let her go, Elli moved to greet her mother. Bending down to level with her who has been sitting in a wheelchair for years to plant a kiss on her mum’s cheek.

“Where have you been, Elli?”

“Sorry, Mum. The festivals are just too time-consuming,” Elli apologised. The last time she saw her mother was the day after she accepted Adrian’s proposal. Just for a quick lunch before heading back to the office to deal with more stuff from Toronto.

“Are you well? How about you, Diana?” Elli striked up a conversation among them.

“We’re fine - just two old ladies chatting about how boring our life now,” Diana sipped her tea.

“At least you’re not bound to a wheelchair, Diana,” Heidi sighed, gesturing at her paralysed legs. Aside from her developing alzheimer, Heidi fell down from the stairs a year ago, breaking her legs as the result.

“Oh Diana, my time will come soon enough then I’ll be joining you here. My boy, you can’t pin him down. Were you attending the festivals as well, Elli?” Diana shifted her attention to Elli.

“No. Just to Cannes,” Elli answered her question as quick as she possibly could. Observing her reaction, Diana’s eyebrow quirked up, much like her middle child, but even she found anything strange about Elli’s attitude, Diana decided to not press her further and talked about Tom’s working schedule instead.

“Tom, on the other hand, that boy was all over the place. Cannes, Toronto, New York, and God knows where else. Even I have a hard time keeping up with that boy. I am just glad he has the time to drive me here today."

Elli’s face blanched knowing Tom was at the nursing home as well. She gulped. "Tom’s here?"

Diana nodded, confirming Elli’s worst fear, "He is. He stepped away to receive a call. Oh Heidi told me you're engaged now. Congratulations! I'm thrilled for you. When's the wedding? Maybe Emma can help you out or introduce you to her wedding organiser, you should talk to her."

Elli put her hand on Diana’s shoulder, gaining the older woman’s attention to remind her not to jump into conclusion, “Oh, Diana, we’re taking it slow. There’s no rush.”

“If you say so, Elli. I am truly happy for you, my dear. I consider you as one of my own,” Diana patted Elli’s cheek lovingly.

“Which one is better, Diana? Me or Thomas?” Grinning, Elli joked at the situation. Maybe by doing this she could forget the current predicament between Tom and her.

Faced with such tough decisions, Diana pouted, “That’s not fair. You can’t force me to pick between children.”

“I promise I won’t tell him if you pick me. I am sure my mother would love to have a son.”

However their conversation was cut short by Heidi who saw another person, the man of the moment, returned to the table. What’s worse was what came out from Heidi’s mouth as she announced Tom’s arrival.

"Elli, you didn't tell me your fiance is coming too."

"Mum, Adrian isn't coming today,” Elli reminded her mother. Wanting to see who her mother was looking at, Elli turned around only to face Tom making his way to their table. A gentle smile was playing on his lips but that smile fell when his gaze travelled down to her left hand, and spied her engagement ring. From the way he observed the ring, Elli could hear those million questions inside his head. Elli shifted her weight between her feet, silently pleading at Diana for some help but Diana could only shrug in response.

It’s time to take matters into her own hands then. Elli could no longer run.

"It's a bit chilly don't you think, Mum? I'm gonna grab some extra blanket from your room."

Cocking her head to the side, Elli signaled Tom to follow her. From the corner of her eyes, she watched how Diana dragged her chair to be closer to Heidi. Diana winked at Elli, reassuring her that she would talk to Heidi. Apparently Diana knew more than she let on.

Tom followed Elli as both of them headed towards her mother’s room. Once they were inside the room, Tom shut the door with a soft click. He didn’t waste his time.

“You didn’t tell me you’re engaged now, Ells.”

Elli snatched the tartan blanket from her mother’s bed then she whirled around, and once again she looked into his icy stare, “Do you want me to apologise?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Tom was dead set to get the answer from Elli.

“I don’t know how you will react since things aren’t exactly good between us, Tom.”

“Don’t you think I deserve to know?” Tom flinched. What has he done to deserve this kind of treatment from his childhood friend?

“After everything that you’ve done lately, Tom?” Elli retorted.

“I never left you out from my life, Ells.”

“Yes, you never. But did you hear me complaining, Tom? Did you hear me about me fucking random guy that I just met? Did I try to take you away from Carla even when I wanted to do it so badly? Did you know that with every smile you had when you told me about Carla, I had to push my feelings away and put on my best mask?” Elli shouted at him. Years of bottling up her feelings, years of silence, those are forgotten now. There’s no holding back now.

Deafening silence fell upon them. Tom was stunned with Elli’s brutal honesty. It took him minutes to recover from her words.

Sighing, Tom whispered in disbelief, “You rejected me, Ells. Don’t you remember that Christmas when I was coming late. I tried to kiss you but you stopped me. You ran away from me. I though you don’t feel the same way about me and then the next thing I know is you introduced me to Carla.”

“Yes, Carla who is the total opposite of Elli Lane. A young ballerina, on her rise to stardom. Not a struggling media girl,” Elli clutched the blanket in her hand, needing something to support her as her wounds are opened again.

“And I broke her,” His head bowed down. For Tom, the guilt for what happened with Carla would alway haunt him.

“I didn’t mean any of that, Tom.”

There were dark times when Elli went to the church and secretly wished for Tom and Carla to end their relationship. That time when the pain was too unbearable for her to handle.

“I don’t want to jeopardise our friendship, Tom.”

Elli’s confession lighted up that hope inside of him, “Look at us now, Ells. Is this better than what could have been? Than us? You with Adrian?”

Without her realising, Tom was standing in front of her now. He grasped her left hand. His fingertips brushed against her ring.

_It was real then._ _Elli is engaged now. This is not some kind of stupid dream._

She opened her mouth but no sound left her mouth. And before she realised it, Tom had pushed her up against the wall. He grabbed her face with his calloused hands and his lips were on hers. Taken aback, the tartan blanket slipped from her hold while Tom tried to deepen their kiss. Slowly but sure, all logical reasoning left her mind as Elli gave in to the kiss as well. She let his tongue to explore her mouth. She threaded her fingers through his blonde hair, keeping him close. She could feel the desperation, the longing in their every moves.

Tom nipped on her neck, sending shiver of anticipation down her spine. But Tom stopped and raised his head. His eyes were fiery, like there’s a fire that’s been reignited there.

Tom dipped his head down, huskily whispering to Elli’s ear, “Come to my place tonight, Ells.”

Her emotion took control of her response for all Elli could do as a response was to nod her head, and guilt never crossed her mind.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If some of you is wondering, Michael's girl is Lilith Anderson from my other story, Sealed with a Kiss, that can be found on my AO3 and tumblr page (http://graymindlove.tumblr.com/tagged/michael-and-lilith). Thank you for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her kiss with Tom, and still at war with herself, Elli finally made some decision.

"Come here, Ells."

"What are we doing, Tom?" Elli could not remain silence. Her feet seemed to have a mind of its own, carrying her closer to him.

"Being honest with each other,” Tom intoned, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

_While I'm wearing the ring given by someone else and that someone happened to be my boyfriend? Can I be truthful to him while I'm lying to someone else?_

“Ells,” Tom sensed her disturbance, trying to search for her face.

The way he said her name. Gentle, full of longing, lulling her to that dark corner inside her earth that was well-hidden all this time. But that time was beyond her now. Now, it’s just too late to do that.

Grasping her hand, Tom led her into his room. And once again, she didn’t question his intention. Elli let him be, maybe this once and for the first time in a while, they were finally at the same page again.

“I missed you, Ells.”

Inside his room, with that single word, Elli could not fight own heart. Long time ago, this was everything that she ever wanted while he was belong to someone else. Right now, it was the other way around as the ring on her finger constantly reminded her of her other man.

As his lips claimed hers, Elli didn’t hold back. Responding to his kiss, her fingers were threaded in between his tresses. Tugging on his bottom lip, earning a groan from the man, she allowed him to take charge. Breaths were intermingling, their tongues were against each other as both of them surrendered to this newfound feeling that they had. As Tom deepened their kisses, his hands slipped under Elli’s blouse, leaving a touch on her bare skin and sending shiver down Elli’s spine.

In the heat of the moment, Tom’s lips had found the sweet spot on her neck and giving it the equal amount of attention. He nipped on it, careful not to leave a mark. His ministration turned the gasps that fell from Elli’s mouth into a series of moan which only added fuel to their ongoing situation.

But as his hand roamed to search for a more intimate contact between the two of them, Elli froze, scrambling to put a distance between herself and Tom, pushing him away. Dejected, Tom questioned her with his look.

“I can’t do this, Tom. We can’t do this,” Elli fastened up her blouse, trying to erase the fact that she just involved in a snogging session with someone she considered as her best friend.

“Ells, if you want to talk what’s going on between us, we can do that.”

“No, Tom. There’s no need to talk about this. I’m leaving. This is a mistake,” Elli gathered her belongings that were now scattered around the floor of his room.

“Ells, calm down,” Tom grabbed her hand, stopping her movement.

Elli looked at him incredulously, “There’s no need to think, Tom. This is wrong. I have a fiance.”

“Then why are you even here, Ells?”

His question stunned her. Sometimes you just couldn’t find a proper justification, no matter how hard you try.

“Tom, please,” Elli insisted on refusing him but control had left her body as she leaned into his touch.

“Just tonight, Ells. Stay with me, please,” Tom begged, tightening his hold on her hand.

And Elli didn’t put up anymore argument. Maybe Tom was right. Let tonight be that day that she yearned since that almost kiss in her place during their Christmas celebration and let this room be their silent witness. Tonight, Elli fell asleep listening to his breathing as it evened out and his arm wrapped around her waist.

***

“Ells? Elli? Elli Lane? Is that really you?”

If there weren’t in such an open place and if Nick wasn’t standing behind her, Elli was sure Amy would have screeched upon seeing her coming out from Tom’s house this morning.

“What are you doing here?” It was not normal to see Amy and Nick early morning in Tom’s house.

“Nick has to talk with Tom. So, he decided to drop by after we dropped Manda at school. Now, the more important question is what are you doing here?” Amy asked as she scrutinized Elli’s appearance.

“I can explain,” Elli cut her off before Amy could utter more words.

“Explain your disheveled state?” Amy’s gaze travelled downward to check Elli’s left hand, “Oh, you’re still wearing your ring. I don’t know whether I should be relieved or even more afraid now. What have you done, Ells?”

“Where’s Adrian?” Nick joined the conversation and probably trying to help diffusing the tension between the two women.

“He’s working. I told him I’m not coming home because I have lots of stuff to do at my office,” Elli admitted, rather shamefully as the guilt started to sink in.

“Lane, this game you are playing, you have to stop this before it’s too late,” Nick shook his head in disapproval and in that moment, Elli would rather the Earth to open up and swallow her whole. Nick wasn’t a judgmental person and a more quiet type when compared to his ballsy wife, so when he started to give her a piece of his mind, Elli knew she was in deep mess.

“I am not gonna do it again.”

“It’s easier to be said than done, Ells,” Nick responded. 

“Did you sleep with him, Ells? And don’t tell me you’re not going to answer that question because we are in public space,” Amy said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her friend who also happened to be her cousin was standing in the eye of the storm and she prayed she knew what she was going to face.

“I did but I did not have sex with him.”

Nick snorted hearing Elli’s confession, “Cuddling with Thomas William Hiddleston? How is that even possible? There’s no such thing, Elli.”

“But it happened, Nick,” Elli sighed. Clearly right now, no one was siding with her.

“And you honestly think it’s okay to sleep with him, spend the night, cuddling, or whatever it is that you are going to use to describe what happened last night between you and Tom,” the hot headed woman exploded in the middle of the street. When her husband tried to calm her down, Amy snatched her hand away.

“Stop it, Nick! I’m not done here, fuck, I’m running out of euphemism that I can use to describe her and Tom. I got tired hearing this from you, Ells. You take a step forward but then you have to take a hundred steps back. This can only end up in disaster, you’ll end up hurting everyone.”

She was defeated and Amy was right. “I don’t even know what I’m doing, Amy.”

“Then figure it out. It’s your mess and you have to clean it up by yourself. I hope you know what you’re doing, Ells.”

With that, Amy stormed inside Tom’s house. Before he left, Nick offered Elli a sympathetic glance. They were right, she had to untangle this mess before it’s too late.

***

In the dark, Elli could not sit still. Fidgeting as she twisted the ring on her finger. This had to be the right thing to do. This was her doing what’s fair for both of them.

“No, don’t turn off the light,” Elli pleaded when she heard the creaking sound of the door being opened.

Adrian was startled but he followed her order, “Okay, what is going on, Ells?”

“I have a confession to make,” still in the dark, Elli took off her ring, placing it carefully on the table.

Adrian could already guess where this conversation was headed.

“Ells?”

Elli let out the breath she’s been holding. It’s her moment of revelation, “That day -- I didn’t stay at my office. It was actually a quiet day, a nice break in the middle of the festival circuit. So, that day, I went to Tom’s place. I was there. He asked me to come to his place so I did.”

“Did you tell him about us?”

“My mum mistaken him as you and called him as my fiancée.”

“He visited your mother?”

“He drove her mother to the nursing home,” Elli paused. No matter how she said it, Adrian would be hurt. That’s definite.

“He confronted me about it. He kissed me. We kissed. Yes, I kissed him back,” As she said her last sentence, her voice turned into a whisper.

Adrian didn’t know how to react. Sure, he was mad. Disappointed. Angry. But was it relevant to take it out on Elli? Even in the dark, he could see the woman was trembling. Her guilt and remorse was eating her alive. She was doing her best to hold back her sob.

“Ells,” Adrian whispered, approaching her.

Elli refused to look at Adrian’s face. She let out a dry laugh. This was getting ridiculous and it wasn’t making her feel any better.

“I betrayed your trust, Adrian. Why don’t you scold me? Shout at me? Kick me out?” Elli let out a dry laugh.

Taking a seat, Adrian rub his hands over his face, “Do I have to remain silence? Or do I have to be angry? Will that make any difference? You can’t win a game when you’re not even competing in the first place.”

The way Adrian talked – it reminded Elli of her mother years ago. When she found out what her father has been doing behind her back. And Elli felt sick. She was morphing into someone she despised her entire life.

“I’m sorry, Adrian,” Choking out another sob, Elli took off her ring and pushed it Adrian’s side of the table. The way that ring slipped from her finger so effortlessly, nothing was holding her back, but relief wasn’t something she felt now. Her entire body was shaking as the tears were streaming down her face, “You deserve better than me.”

Adrian could only manage to shake his head, “He never left, did he? Tom is always there, Ells. Whether you want it or not. He was merely hidden in that heart of yours, he never left. I am just a distraction.”

“What we had was real, Adrian,” Elli winced. It was all in the past now.

“And I will never forget it. Is it too late to change your mind, Ells?” Adrian lifted up his gaze and for the first time in the entire evening, their eyes met.

Elli flashed him a bitter smile, “After what I’ve done, I don’t think we can. It’s not good for either of us, Adrian.”

Adrian was laughing now. Laughing at his fate, at the way their four years of relationship ended. Elli told him it’s for the best. Yes, it is for the best. But he still had one more thing to say to this woman who had his heart.

“I am in love with you, Ells. Tell me, what did I do wrong?”

Adrian sounded wounded. Who wouldn’t? After his fiancé returning his ring just under two months after she said yes to his proposal. She rose from her seat, coming near Adrian, stopping within his reach.

“That’s the thing, Adrian. You’re perfect but it’s not perfection that I want,” Elli was being brutally honest with him.

Clearing his throat, Adrian dared himself to speak once more, “So, this is goodbye,”

Elli brought herself closer to Adrian. One last time, she felt his face and his five o’clock shadow she loved so much. Wiping the single tear on his cheek, she then planted a kiss on Adrian’s cheek, “Goodbye, darling.”

And she left without sparing a second glance at the man, leaving him in the darkness of their apartment.

***

Moving out of their flat – her place with Adrian. That was the next thing Elli did. It pained her so much doing that. Four years of togetherness gone, just like that with a snap of her fingers. Boxes after boxes, Elli caressed them. Four years with Adrian, those memories were inside these boxes. He told her to take it with her and Elli didn’t blame him. It’s the least thing she can do after what she had done.

This matter was taking its toll on her. Elli slumped next to the boxes as she replied the call she had with Tom that morning.

“Hey.”

“Ells?” Tom’s morning voice, low and gravely, greeted her.

“How are you, Tom?” The palpable lump on the back of her throat could no longer be ignored. Elli was doing everything in her power to hold back her sob.

Tom didn’t answer to her question, “Ells? Have you been crying?”

“I returned the ring to Adrian, I broke up our engagement. I am leaving, Tom. I can’t do this. You can continue with your life. Just forget me, Tom. Please.”

Like any other persons who heard the news about their friends ending their engagement, Tom was startled. He leaped out from his bed. Did he think Elli would not take it this far?

“Elli, I am so sorry. Do you want me to come?”

Even with knowing Tom couldn’t see her, Elli still shook her head, “It’s not your fault, Tom. I am the fool in this matter. No, I told you, stop. We should end this. Forget whatever that ever happened between us. Erase Elli Lane from your life. You know no Elli Lane. That girl never existed. Please, Thomas, it’s for the best.”

Tom took a sharp intake of breath, “I can’t do that, Ells. You are my best friend. I need you and I want you to be more than just a best friend to me. Please.”

Elli covered her mouth, preventing Tom to hear her sobbing.

“You know how I hate my father, right, Tom? Do you remember what he did? He left me and my mother for another woman.”

“Elli, you are not him,” Tom tried to comfort her, wishing his voice was enough to do that since he wasn’t there to hold her.

“BUT I AM TURNING INTO MY FATHER HERE!” Elli was hysteric. Shouting, she slammed her hands on the table. “I hurt Adrian! He was supposed to be my future! My safe haven! I love him, Tom, but I ended up leaving him.”

Once she calmed down, Elli whispered. She was begging for him to understand, “I just have one wish, Tom. If you’re still my best friend, I need you to do this. Leave me, go on with your life. Goodbye, Tom.”

Elli terminated the connection even before Tom got the chance to say a thing to her. But at least, Tom hasn’t tried to call her back. Maybe he still valued their friendship, even if it still counted as one, and finally acquiescing to her request.

There’s only one phone call she should make before carrying out this plan of hers and thank God the man picked up after the first ring.

“Are you ready to go, Elli?” Elli could imagine Michael with his shark grin right now, probably more excited than her to set this plan into motion.

Getting up from her place, Elli responded, “Everything has been arranged. I talked to Johanna and she told me she will help my mum to do a video call with me once in a while.”

“Okay, I’ll text you the address and tell them you’re coming,” Michael let out a low whistle. Elli Lane on the run was something that didn’t happen every day.

 “Splendid! And remember, Michael, not a word to anyone,” Elli reminded the Irish once again about the secrecy of her escape.

As the person who came up with this idea, Michael said, “Sure, Lane. Whatever you need."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elli was on the run while Tom never stopped looking for her, including forcing him to meeting Michael Fassbender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is another update. Probably the last one before school starts. The end is near for these two. Thank you for those who have commented, and liking this story. I appreciate that as this story is very personal to me. I hope you are not disappointed with this one either. Happy reading.

Do you feel lonely up there? As per usual, Elli could hear Michael asking her the same question over and over again. Repeating the word inside her head again, lonely. How is she supposed to describe that word? It’s not she was under a total lockdown. She still interacted with people, although not as many as she used to be when she was working in London. Still talking to her mother every now and then, Michael checked up on her once in a while, Amy and Nick also decided to give Elli some space. But there was that one day, when Adrian asked them about her whereabouts and Elli was glad that couple decided to shut their mouth.

Sometimes Elli was afraid of Michael because he appeared to know her better than anyone. And now, what is this loneliness Michael keep asking her? She never like the stillness of life, that’s why she chose to be in the show business. Elli Lane is someone who loves to be always on the move. But now, after everything that had happened, she just wanted to hide. People could call it as cowardice, but for her, it was her chance to reevaluate her choice – that’s if it’s not too late to do that.

“Aren’t you worried about Adrian?” Amy asked her one night during a late call.

“Have you seen him?” answering a question with another question had become quite a common thing to do for Elli during her retreat.

“I did. He is worried about you, Ells.”

Ever the saint, Adrian is. Elli rubbed her temple.

“And what you told him?”

Sensing her disturbance, Amy calmed her down immediately, “That you’re doing fine. No worries, Ells.”

“It was never in my intention to do that.”

“Both of you told me the same thing. What you and Adrian had was real. You’re sorry, he gets that. But, Ells, Tom though – that’s the real problem.”

“What about him?”

“Well, so far, he’s been off the radar. Adrian hasn’t seen him in weeks. He is probably working at another exotic location.”

That’s how Tom do it. Drowning himself with his works. He did that after he broke up with Carla as well.

“That’s how his brain works,” Elli replied with a shrug.

“Just tell us how you have been doing, Ells,” Amy was concerned about Elli’s well-being. Breaking up your engagement then she had to end things with someone she considered very special for her.

“As far as I can tell, I am doing okay. I think I’ve been worse,” Elli answered the question, trying to focus on the blaring laptop screen in front of her.

Her flat response showed how Elli wished she could end this conversation as soon as possible. Amy might not understand what Elli did but right now, but she didn’t mean to push her cousin away. Sighing in resignation, Amy said, “Okay, take all the time that you need, Ells.”

Once Amy terminated their call, Elli stared into the distance. Thousand questions swirled inside her head and left unanswered once again. The road back home still seemed so far away.

***

It was a bustling Friday night in London and if it wasn’t for the exclusive membership to this club, Michael would have a hard time spotting his friend, his former co-star, Benedict Cumberbatch, in the crowd, “Well, hello, Benedict! I hope married life is treating you well, my old friend! Are you getting enough sleep these days?”

Pulling Michael into a manly hug, Benedict muttered, “I can tell that I am gonna regret this decision,” Ben pulled him into a manly hugged, patting Michael’s back.

“You won’t. Trust me. I am the nicest and most polite person that you ever know,” a grin was already adorning Michael’s face.

“Michael, please, behave yourself. I don’t want any of us to make it to the front cover on the Daily Mail tomorrow,” Ben hasn’t had his drink but his head was already hurting – just from the attitude Michael was giving him.

“Sure, lead the way, Ben. I can’t wait to meet this friend of yours. I’ve waited years for this to happen,” Michael said as Ben led the way to the table on the corner of the club, where a lone man was already waiting for them. Once both of them were near the table, Michael exclaimed.

“Ah, so this is the infamous Tom Hiddleston!”

Tom didn’t say much other than nodding his head at Michael’s direction, “Hello to you too, Michael.”

“And he knows me,” Michael turned to Benedict, speaking in a mock whisper.

Benedict rolled his eyes. It would be miracle if one of them were getting thrown out of the bar before this night ended.

“So, why inviting me here tonight? Do you want to collaborate with me in a project?” Michael took a seat in front of him before raising his hand to order a drink from the waiter that was making his round.

Seeing how neither Ben or Tom was responding to his question, Michael continued speaking, “Maybe Disney and Fox worked out a deal and they had a movie where Loki and Magneto are joining force, and Benedict as the latest addition to the expanding universe is gonna make an appearance as well?”

Tom could not hold his tongue anymore, “Let me be honest with you, Michael. If it wasn’t for Elli who we haven’t seen in weeks, you won’t be here with us tonight.”

Having a sip from his beer, Michael nodded, “Straight to the point. I was right. Elli should have introduced us sooner, I can tell that we’re going to get along nicely.”

“Do you even know where Elli is, Michael? Because if you don’t, I suggest you to finish your beer and leave now,” Benedict took control of the situation before these two guys involved in a brawl.

“I know where she is but she made me signed a non-disclosure agreement. Wait, aren’t you her best friend? Isn’t best friend supposed to tell each other about everything? And there’s no secret between you.”

Tom’s only response was to grit his teeth. Probably reminding himself to keep his words to Benedict and not to start a fight with this infuriating Irishman.

Michael felt like sitting on the edge of his seat. He was enjoying this more than he should. He should have done this sooner.

“So, I assume everything is going downhill since Cannes, then?”

Benedict almost choked on his drink, “Wait, Michael. You know what happened in Cannes? Tom, you didn’t mention him!”

“How did you find out about it, Michael? Elli told you?” Tom was as confused as Benedict as well.

“I was with her right before she saw you in bed with those two ladies. Fear not, Hiddleston, I didn’t see you in bed with them. Although, it would definitely be very interesting if I saw you,” If it’s even possible, Michael’s grin grew even wider.

Tom and Benedict exchanged glances. It was clear that this piece of information was brand new for them.

Michael chuckled. He spent years working with Elli and he knew exactly what happened between her and Tom. Her struggle. Her pain. It’s a miracle, or maybe he should call it the most stupid thing a person ever done, that Elli chose to stay by Tom’s side after all of that.

“Listen, Hiddleston. I may not know Elli since she was just a little girl but I worked with her long enough. She was with me from Inglourious Basterds to Days of Future Past. I never had a chance to ask her, so I figure I am gonna ask this question to you, Tom.

“Are you enjoying the attention she is giving you? Are you that selfish to the point that you don’t even think about how she feel? Are you that ignorant?”

For a brief moment, Tom was stunned but then he glared at Michael, sniping, “Do you have feeling for her, Michael?”

This was Michael’s turn to laugh, “I am just doing some favour for a friend, Tom. Don’t turn this into something about me. Just answer my fucking question, it’s not that hard for you, Cambridge boy.”

“She is my first friend, my best friend. We had each other’s back since the very beginning. I – I may have missed the moment when I first realized the change in my heart. I was with Carla, I lost her. While Elli, she had the life that she wanted. She had Adrian,” Tom sighed, feeling sorry for all the stuff that had happened since Carla’s wedding.

“Exactly, Hiddleston. You know she had Adrian and yet you kissed her, asking her to spend the night with you.”

“Michael has a point there,” Benedict quipped as he chugged down another glass of beer, “Elli probably is disgusted with herself right now, after what she had done with you, Tom.”

“Thank you, Ben. So, now, Hiddleston, you have to give one good reason why I should tell you where Elli’s hiding place is.”

Tom was speechless but his mind was racing. His time together with Elli flashed inside his brain. From their innocent childhood together to that night weeks ago when Elli was on his bed, lying underneath him as he kissed her, having a taste of her body. When did it start? When did it change? How could he be such an idiot for not realizing it sooner?

“I think you don’t have a reason to fall for someone. The circumstance isn’t the best, but when the time comes, you just do. It just happened,” Tom confessed. He understood he failed to give a proper reason but this one was better than nothing.

“You hurt her. Elli hates herself the most now, that’s why she is hiding. You know that, don’t you?” Michael said after weighing Tom’s confession.

“But as a wise man, I know that running won’t solve any problem. Been there, done that, I am telling you two – it’s not a nice feeling. Elli Lane is in my hometown.”

“Heidelberg? She went back to Germany? But we had checked with her family there and they swear Elli isn’t there,” If it’s possible, Benedict looked even more confused than before.

Hearing Benedict’s wild assumption, Michael rolled his eyes, “I have two hometowns. Have you checked my other hometown? I am half German, half Irish, in case you forget.”

“Which part of Ireland?” Tom was no longer paying attention to the scene around him. This was the information that he wanted and he would not waste more time.

Finishing his beer, Michael smirked and threw some money to the table. He raised from his seat, “Well, it’s not hard to find it on Google. Night, lads!”

Tom watched Michael leave with a look of disbelief. Turning to face Benedict, he cursed, “How can you be friend with him?”

“He is a nice fellow but a bit of piece of art – just like the rest of us.”

But Tom was ignoring Benedict’s words. He was preoccupied with his phone screen, already finding the information about Michael’s hometown. Standing upright, Tom nearly knocked over his chair, finally found his Eureka moment, “Killarney! That’s where Elli is.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Killarney, Tom had the chance to settle things with Elli.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while but yes this is the ending of these two. I might have cried when I wrote this because Elli did something that I couldn’t do until now. Thank you for those who have sticking around, have commented, and liking this story. I appreciate that as this story is very personal to me. I hope you are not disappointed with this one. Happy reading and please let me know what you think :D

"You were gone for quite some time," Tom spoke in a hushed tone.

Elli almost forgot that she was not alone this morning. She had a companion, a rather unwelcomed one.

"I showered," came her short reply. She had to get away from this. If he refused to leave, then she would be the one leaving. He could have this cottage all to himself.

"Don't leave," Tom pleaded. He came all the way from London after asking her whereabout from her former employee.  


Elli didn’t listen to his plea. She marched outside the bedroom, ignoring the man who was now frantically putting on a shirt that was laying on the floor, “You can’t stop me. It’s either me or you. If you won’t do it, then I will. Feel free to enjoy the rest of your short break in this cottage.”

With his long legs, Tom had no trouble catching up with her steps, “But after what happened last night, Ells.”

His words stopped her movement. With a sharp intake of breath, she turned around to face the blonde thespian. 

“Last night was not supposed to happen. Last night was a dream. Last night was not real, was not right.”

Last night was part of my imagination ages ago. That was supposed to exist only in my head, in my stupid brain, Tom. I will give everything to erase the memory from last night, Tom. I don’t want to remember how your lips caressed every inch of my skin. Your hands roaming over my body. Your calloused finger, your breathing. Your heartbeat. Every moan and gasp as our breath intermingling with each other. They way you say my name as you came. 

“Elli.”

Hearing how Tom called her not by using her nickname, Elli couldn’t help but to wince.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“You should not have come, Tom. Let me go. You are the actor, right? You are good at pretending, Tom. This is easy for you. I don’t ask much from you. We have to be normal.”

“Normal?” He retorted, “Define normal. Please.”

“Back to square one. Like we don’t know each other. Or maybe we are just like regular friend instead of being two individuals who know each other since childhood.”

“Can you do that?”

His reluctance to answer her question was getting on her nerves. Elli sighed, “Can you please just answer that. It’s just like a simple yes or no question, Tom.”

“Same thing applied to my question, Lane.”

“I can,” Elli said, too fast for her liking but at least it was convincing.

“You could have said no, Lane.”

And now she is Lane. That was fast. Lifting her gaze, she saw the crestfallen expression on Tom’s face.

“I think you should realise by now that I always have that soft spot for you, Tom. You are special to me, Tom.”

Shaking his head, Tom let out a dry laugh. He couldn’t believe his own words.

“If I am as special as you said, then why are you doing this? Why you keep insisting that last night was a mistake? I came to Killarney not for nothing!” Tom shouted. He knew he was scaring her but right now self control was not the first thing he had in mind. Not when Elli was trying to burning down the bridge.

“Because you are special. That’s why I have to let you go,” Elli smiled at him, or at least she tried to smile.

“I have to admit one thing though. I love you, Tom. I do - but it happened in the past. That was before our almost kiss in my kitchen during that Christmas celebration, before I introduced you to Carla. You may wonder why I did all of those, why I pushed you away from me, why I tried to be with someone else. Some people, like Amy, called it stupidity. But for me the answer is I have no idea.”

Minutes passed between them, neither uttered a word. His chest was heaving. He was mad, angry, but he knew he could not blame Elli. All he could blame was himself for realising it all when it was all too late. When he had done too much damage to this woman that he claimed to be his best friend.

“What’s been done can’t be undone, right? I have made too many mistakes. You can’t forgive and forget it? I am like the red flower from Jungle Book, and you are the forest. I ended up destroying you.”

I am toxic for you. What happened along the way, Elli?

Closing her eyes, Elli gulped down hard as she observed Tom came closer. He caressed her cheek before tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“So, this is goodbye then,” Tom nodded in understanding. 

Biting down her lower lip to prevent the sob escaping her mouth, Elli didn’t say anything. The next moment unfolding slowly in front of her eyes as she watched Tom walked out from the cottage door as well as her life. He was right, he was her red flower and you can’t stay forever with your red flower, Elli reminded herself once more. 


End file.
